Tyr and Adam were arguing about possession of his chocolate bunny (it's Easter)...Adam was trying to convince him the Earer Bunny left a note saying the chocolate bunny was for his dad...Tyr wasn't buying it and telling him why...ending with:
Tyr: "And ALSO..." (Grabs his bunny and licks it a bunch) "I licked it."
I'm having an odd sense of deja vu. I'm feeling like I've lived this scenario before...But it damn well better be different this time around. And luckily, I am pretty sure it is. So we're reviving The Learning Village. Remember my homeschool resource center? That failed project of mine from several years ago? Let's see, it was 2009 to about 2011 I suppose. It started off gangbusters...I had this fantastic idea and got all excited but waited to start it until I knew for sure there were others that would support it and help me build it. And there were! Tons of people said they were excited about it and YES YES!! DO IT!! We totally support you! And we'll do it with you! And we'll lead activities and teach classes with you, Tina! We are WITH you!! Are you sure? I asked....Because I don't want to do this if I don't have community support....Oh yes, they said...yes yes...it's an awesome idea....let's do it!! And then I did it and then POOF! They all disappeared like smoke! And I was left holding all the balls myself. Yeah I'm not still the least bit bitter. Nope. So now we have a new scenario that is starting off really familiar....lots of enthusiasm and YES YES! Let's DO THIS! But this time....I'm going in more cautiously and not just doing it all myself like I did before. I'm not leading it all and I'm not the entire spearheader. (Is that even a word?) This time it's not starting because one crazy passionate mom had an idea...it's starting because an entire COMMUNITY is being disassembled (thanks a ton ERCLC for abandoning us...yeah, love ya, *smooches*....no I get it...I see where your priorities are...No hard feelings at ALL. Nah.) and we don't want that to happen so we, the parents of the Fresno satellite of ERCLC are going to keep our little community going...so we are creating something new to keep our kids and our familiestogether! So because of this difference...the fact that it's starting with an entire community that is already used to spending regular time together in a quality program for the past 4 years...and we want to keep doing that...I think that makes a big difference over one mom trying to create something that didn't yet exist, and trying to create connections that hadn't yet been made. And we are essentially trying to copy/paste (and improve upon) what already existed. So THIS might actually work. But the familiarity of this....this initial excitement and this YEAH, let's DO IT!! It's nerve wracking! I'm trying so hard to think ahead and figure out how to make sure this time is DIFFERENT. Learn from my mistakes of the past. Make sure that the past does not repeat and this time this project actually is successful! Because I really think this time could work! We have so many fantastic people and fantastic ideas! If we can just get the commitment and the organization that I know we are capable of. Here's hoping!!!
Seriously. I don't like this feeling. I rarely feel like this, and I imagine it's brought on by that time of the month, so it should be temporary. But I just do not do well with this icky feeling. I am starting to really get an idea how hard it must be to be someone who deals with these emotions daily. It's horrible!! I just want to feel happy again...to feel normal again. I need a change. Need to do something that brings me joy. Tomorrow I need to do some major purging and reorganizing so I can feel really good about the work I've done. That usually works.
Maeven was being goofy, pretending to be stuck under Tyr's mattress on the floor...saying "HEEEEELP....Mom, help!"
I was texting a friend and ignoring her temporarily...knowing she wasn't actually stuck...so Maeven says: "Heeeeelp....Mom, heeeeeeeelp. You'renotaverygoodparent" (as a sort of aside)...then..."Heeeeeeeeelp".