Thursday, June 29, 2006

they're coming to take me awaaaaaaaaaay!

i'm really going insane, i really am! my son is driving me to the nuthouse! during the day i cannot get anything done because he pitches a fit (he's 11.5mo) if i put him down...he's like 30lbs and i don't really want to wear him all day because he's so friggin heavy and its its very hard to wash dishes with a baby in a sling on your hip. i'm all for babywearing, but i really don't like to do EVERYTHING with him on me. he's HEAVY!

so he cries and fusses and screams a lot all day...certainly anytime i want to do run to the laundry room to put in a load of laundry. and he is now getting into everything, pulling books off shelves and eating garbage off the floor (i know, typical baby, but maeven wasn't like this so its fairly new to me)...and pitches a fit every single diaper change like i'm torturing him...

and then at nite....oh gawd! he thrashes and cries half the nite many many nites! not every single nite...but often. ever since he was tiny really. he kicks and tosses and turns and cries...i don't know why. i've been wracking my brains for nearly a year trying to figure out why he does he hot? cold? gassy? poopy? wet? want to be in my arms? want to be out of my arms? nothing seems to work for long, if at all. and he won't nurse on my right side...only my left...and lately he won't even let me roll him over to my right side to just lay there, he pitches a fit! so my left hip is killing me many nites from being stuck on it all nite.

ok so i'm doing an awful lot of complaining...but last nite i ended up around 2am in the rocking recliner in the living room cuz he wouldn't stop thrashing and finally was able to get some sleep...although he still repeatedly woke me up thrashing even in there. just not as much.

i'm just going nuts here! i'm not getting enough sleep to handle the day with him and my mom is away for 3 friggin weeks in russia so i don't even get nana's help to get a break from all the baby stuff during the day.

and now he's crying cuz i'm on the computer so i cannot even vent anymore....i want to SCREAM!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


with a PASSION!! actually, i'm not too fond of fresno any time really...although the weather is pretty nice in the winter. but summer time, OH MY GOD!!! this 100+ weather kills me every friggin summer!

makes me sooooooooo grumpy! we are stuck indoors all the time because its too friggin hot to go anywhere, but my kids and i go stir crazy so i try to take them places just so we are not at each other's throats all day...which makes me and them even more grumpy in the in-between parts when we have to be out in the heat...ARGH. they are usually fine, for the most part, in the car once the ac has kicked in, and in the stores and such...but going from car to store and store to car, etc...just too HOT!!!

i HATE FRESNO!!! there's no beauty here. just friggin heat. well, the people are about all that this place has going for it.

i said this when i first moved here. there's no energy here. its stale. when i lived in sacramento there was an energy, a vibrance, probably because there's a river going through it and there's some pretty cool parts of town. i guess there are cool parts of town here too, but i don't often go there.

i would move in a heartbeat if my husband wasn't so stuck here. well, and we do have all our family here. i don't want to take any of us away from family. but i feel like i'm dying here sometimes. and i want so much more for my kids. i wish i could be raising them someplace that was beautiful...with 4 real seasons (although i would dread a real winter...but they'd probably love snow)...and a picturesque downtown...a small town....something quaint. like all the cute little towns you always see on movies and tv shows. i WANT that!

i yearn for a nice place to live all the time...but my dh will never go for leaving here. he was born and raised here and doesn't see why we should ever leave. honestly i think he would be scared of leaving because he doesn't know anything else. to me, i would LOVE to pack everything up and move to another state! what an adventure! wouldn't have to be another state though....northern california would be fine.

argh, baby is cranky, time's up.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

OMG this is WILD!

you have to see this video!!


thanks, beck for sharing that on your blog...maeven and i loved it!!

i'm an author!

i finally got my book published! here's where you can find it.

it took me years to write that darn thing! it all started when i created a webpage to help advertise my mommy and me program i used to run in my home. i kept getting emails from people that found the webpage through a web search and were wanting to know about running a similar program. i just don't have time to answer everyone's questions so i thought "i should write a book!" then i realized i really could! took awhile to get it all down, but i finally did...and in the meantime i had stopped doing my program and had put a note on the webpage that i was going to be making a book on the topic...i kept getting emails! like all the time! people wanting to know if my book was done! i must have gotten like 20 or 30 of them! crazy! so i knew i had a great idea!

so i finished the book then i asked adam to make the cover for me with some pics i had taken over the years of the kids in my program...darned man took like 3 months to make that graphic!! ARGH! i finally got him to finish it and it looks beYOOteeful!! (to quote flossie bobbsey, hehe...maeven is a huge bobbsey twin fan just like her mama was as a girl)

so it was worth the wait, i think. now lets just hope that it actually sells. i only actually profit $10 per book, but i never expected to get rich on it, lol!

i found out about lulu from angela...roger published a book on carpal tunnel there. apparently its free to publish, they just take a cut of each book as they print them. they only print as they are purchased. like cafepress. cool deal. i just ordered one so we'll see what the quality is like but i saw one at babyfest that was published by them and so i know its very professionally done.

the really cool thing is that they also submit their books to amazon and barnes and nobles and borders and some other online bookstores! way cool! can't wait to see my book up there!

so that's my big news for the weekend...i'm now officially an author!

look beckie! i'm posting!! (aka the UU church pt 1)

ok so i'm going to really try harder again...i just can't seem to stay consistant with this...but here goes with another try...

so today was another kick back weekend. we started the day off with maeven and tyren and i going to the unitarian church for their "hogwuurts" sunday school...their version of harry potter's hogwarts...hogwuurts with 2 U's for unitarian universalism, get it? :) cute idea.

Here's the blurb on the program:
Dear UU Friends,
This summer our Sunday morning Church School will be Harry Potter themed. We've chosen Harry Potter as our theme because the books, although maligned by some, teach many of the values Unitarian Universalists hold dear. The books teach honesty, fairness, bravery, creativity, acceptance of differences, respect for nature, cooperation, self discovery, self mastery, and friendship.
This summer our children will be invited to attend HOGWUURTS School of Unitarian Universalism. Each Sunday from June 25, 2006 though September 3, 2006 our activities will be led by a "Professor" (church member) who will teach one the courses offered at Hogwuurts. The classes will have titles similar to the Harry Potter books, but will be UU style.
For example, Professor Carolyn Maxwell has offered to teach the Care of Magical Creatures by bringing her horse to church and sharing her knowledge of horse care. Other classes that could be taught are Astronomy, Potions (Chemistry or Cooking), Herbology (Gardening or Healing Plants), Defense Against the Dark Arts (Police Officers, Firefighters, and Doctors who battle our world's threats), Quidditch (Sports & Games), the Triwizard Ball (Dancing), Divination (Spirit Animals/Totems?) and choir. The first week, June 25, children will make spell books for note taking and collecting specimens throughout the summer. Classes may be offered several times if we have several professors with knowledge in those areas. We may also have several professors teach simultaneously allowing children to rotate through stations with each professor.

well it sounds like a really cool idea but so far it hasn't been all that impressive. (we'll see how it goes next week.) for one thing, there's a ton of kids and we don't know any of them and i really expected some of our friends to come. so maeven was feeling shy. i went with her (wouldn't think of leaving her when she doesn't know anyone) and tyren really made it difficult. we made it through church, just barely, without any major screaming (have i mentioned tyren is a real screamer? i'll have to post a clip of him sometime) ...they only have the kids in church the first 10 or 15min or so, then they go out for children's church...

so then we went to the sunday school rooms and they told the kids they would split up into 2 activities...make a wand or choose your house/make your spellbook. maeven really wanted to make her spellbook so we stayed for that...but there wasn't any "making" involved...they were already made, just had to write their names on them...and they read off the 4 choices...4 different people's names and what they stood for and the kids were to choose which one they wanted...well maeven wasn't paying attention when they were reading them (and even if she had she wouldn't have gotten what they were saying, it was way over her head) i just helped her pick beatrix potter (an author i really can't stand, but seemed most appropriate for maeve) because that house stood for being kind to all living things and nature and stuff...seemed suitable for maeve. then the kids had to sit on a special chair and have a witch hat put on their head and declare their house they chose and then they used a wand to sort of knight them to that house. i have no idea what this is all about since i've never read nor seen anything harry potter...neither has maeven...but i think its pretty creative of them.

then we went and made her wand...she chose to make a heart shaped one. with some pretty jewels.

then the kids formed groups and played some games, but maeve didn't want to play because she didn't know anyone and frankly i didn't blame her because all the kids were older than her...well most of them...and it just didn't feel inviting to the little ones...seemed more suited to the olders and to the regulars.

so since i'd been wrestling with tyren the entire time, trying to keep him from screaming because he was bored and wanted to get down and tear the place up, we just decided to go into the nursery and let them play. maeven is technically too old for the nursery but we said we wanted to bring the baby in to play and they let us. she actually had more fun just playing with the toys in there. and so did tyren. next week i'm going to try leaving tyren w/daddy.

so next week we'll see what will happen. this is supposed to be a program all summer through the beginning of september. the week after next they are supposed to bring a horse and teach about caring for him/her. something about the care and keeping of magical animals or something. maeven really wants to see the horse.

i'm totally willing t o give it more of a chance...i realize this was the first day and chaos was pretty apparent. all in all i guess it went ok in the scheme of things. i just wish there were more kiddos maeven's age and that they were dividing them by age. i also picked beatrix potter because i figured they might have more little ones and more girls in that one...we'll see. i hope they are broke into smaller groups next week.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Henna the Fierce

Oh this is too funny! My parents are in Russia right now so we have their dog, a golden retriever. Well my cats have always been fine around Maggie. They don't even seem to care that she's there and Maggie is used to being around cats since my parents have one. So for the first few days they were fine. Today I noticed though that Henna seems to be getting a bit of an attitude. She's been hissing and growling at Maggie. Guess the newness wore off.

Then Adam came in from outside to find Henna CHASING MAGGIE!!! LOL!!! Big doggie chased by kitty cat...too funny!

Needless to say, Henna was reprimanded for being mean to the doggie, lol. Poor Maggie is actually scared of Henna now!