Friday, July 07, 2006

mommy's life of stress

i guess this is just mommyhood...at least it seems to be with multiple children. lately i'm just so exhausted from being stressed out all the time. and i'm not even doing all the millions of extra things i normally do. i'm not doing babyfest right now, i'm not really doing much, if anything, for my websites/businesses (just tiny bits here and there but i normally devote much more time to it and i've decided to push that to the back burner while i deal with just being a mommy for now)...i'm not doing mommy and me classes, i'm not doing a lot of extra things...the stress is coming from my children, my house and my finances. our family life, basically...and most of it focuses around the fact that this little darling baby boy of mine just won't let me get much of anything done!

i know maeven was the same way...but the difference is that when i was pregnant with maeven we moved into this house...and so i had all my nesting time to prepare the house for a new baby. so it was babyproofed as i unpacked and was ready for her before she was even born. now tyren comes along and the house has been trashed for years and hasn't been babyproofed for the past 3 years or so...and darned if i can get it back in order with a baby underfoot!

maeven hasn't really been the issue...she's so much more self reliant lately. i'm amazed at how well she does on her own these days...playing by herself or otherwise occupying herself. in fact i feel really guilty because i know i need to do more with her but when the baby sleeps i'm rushing around to get something done! or i'm crashed out with him or checking email or whatever. yesterday she made it a point that she wanted to play with me...the baby was awake at the time but i just felt so bad for not playing with her lately that i made it a point to go into the big room and we were attempting to play...but you know what happened? she wanted to play trains and we started setting them up and mr man proceeded to try to tear it all apart, despite me doing everything in my power to distract him with a multitude of other things. i was so friggin stressed from just trying to keep him away from what she was doing! so much for playing with her! i need to do it when he's sleeping...that's what i need to make a mental note to do...time for maeven when tyren sleeps. i know this, but then as soon as he's sleeping i start thinking "phew! now i can get this this and this done!" especially since she tends to already be preoccupied with something.

and lately i have been distracted because i have my dad's retirement party i'm working on. i had wanted these invites out 2 weeks ago but one thing after another keeps happening to delay it...mainly because communication about the party with my parents and brother is greatly delayed because they are currently in RUSSIA!

well but that's the topic of another post....this one's gotten long.

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