Tuesday, October 10, 2006

update on tyren

just posted this on my local mommy group...thought it was relevant here too:

ok so the poor little bugger's rash doesn't LOOK bad anymore...but now he's scratching like CRAZY! constantly! so i've started taking dairy out of my diet and his recently... just a few days so far...and he's still having pretty bad nites (though not like before) so i called dr sue stone's office this morning...the issue being money...i needed to see if they took healthy families...which i figured was a long shot.

well it turns out they do! well we'll see if its really true because i still feel its too good to be true...but she says they have one other patient who has healthy families and they are paying for it...so i'm excited!

i'm calling them this morning to get my packet of info and i'm taking this little guy in asap! he's just miserable! this has gone on WAAAAY too long! he's mostly fine when he's distracted but resorts to clawing the hell outta himself in between. and forget leaving him diaper-less to help with the diaper rash...he claws so bad i swear he's going to rip his penis off! luckily i've been managing the diaper rash pretty well with the creams and very frequent diaper changes...but if i slip and leave him in a diaper for just a little too long, it comes right back...so this is just all not right and he needs help, bigtime.

my poor little guy! i am hoping once we get to the root of this problem that maybe he'll be happier again...i know its absolutely maddening itching so much!

i'm still very frustrated with mary graves...because in 2 visits she never once mentioned that an allergy could be behind this...and its very obvious that it is an allergy! she just recommended all the creams and ointments and baths...but none of that solves the root of the problem! ok, that's allopathic medicine for ya, i know...but how can it be so blatantly obvious to me and yet they continue to practice band-aid medicine? well, i can't say THEY, because i feel like dr k would have probably mentioned allergies...he's not hollistic but he seems like he would have talked about that...

you know, i like mary graves for being able to talk to someone when i'm frustrated with parenting and what's going on and such...but i just don't have a whole lot of faith in her medical abilities lately. plus she keeps pushing vaccination. not that that surprises me.

on a side note...i'm reading a REALLY fantastic book all about vaccinations, if anyone wants to know...it's by dr randall neustaedter, who, incidentally, does a monthly chat on my website www.mommychats.com and there are transcripts available. here's a link to the latest transcript and there is a link to his books there and all his other chats as well. and his next chat is next week!

this book, "the vaccine guide" is just what i've been looking for...it is definitely slanted in an anti-vaccination view, but at the same time i think he very well gives value to the other view that the diseases can be scary too...he offers alternatives to the all or nothing approach...talks about full vaccination vs no vaccination vs selective vaccination vs delayed vaccination...etc etc...and talks about how each parent needs to make their own decision on their own situation...really great info! plus he goes into all the issues around vaccinations, history, etc and goes through each and every disease and vaccination currently available...explains the risks of the diseases AND the vaccines, so you can make an informed choice for your children. i am really so thankful to finally have gotten it and i think it will finally help me and my husband make an informed decision...which is his whole point. that parents NEED to be informed on all this stuff before they choose. to go blindly into it is just not wise...there are SOO many factors involved in vaccinations. wow, this book is just REALLY good! i can't say that enough! just thought i'd mention that.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

rated M for mature

i love halloween! i do! not as much as my good friend beckie, but i really do love it! its a fun time of the year...i think dressing up is way fun and fall harvest decor and activities are fun...and candy is fun, lol! its all fun!

i don't, however, particularly enjoy the spooky side of halloween...welllll...i don't NOT like it...spooky is ok with me...its the gory that i don't like. i never have liked gory. and now that i have children...i like it even less and get downright annoyed at how much it is thrust into our faces every year. not everyone likes the gore and creepy stuff...so why is it fair to have it bombard every visit to every store this time of year?

they are having a discussion about scary halloween displays in stores right now on my local mommy egroup...and i will tread lightly on this topic because i know, beckie, that you and i have differing opinions on this and i dearly love you and don't at all want to offend my dear "right-hand mama!"

i do have issues with the creepy, scary stuff bombarding us every year at halloween...i don't have a problem with its existance...nor even that stores sell and display this stuff....i just would prefer that it was kept to a separate section so that those with sensitivities to it can avoid it. i don't think that's too much to ask.

now i do have a very sensitive child...others do not.

and on a side note-- i firmly believe that i did NOT create this in her. its innate. i get so sick of others suggesting i'm to blame for her sensitivities and so, yes, i am sensitive to comments that make me feel that is being suggested. so my advice to all my friends is don't suggest it if you don't want me to get pissed off, LOL! i think most of them know this...but perhaps not, LOL!

but yes, i do have a sensitive child...and so i do avoid the scary stuff or things that might be interpreted as scary. but honestly i'd avoid it anyway because i personally don't like it and i don't feel it appropriate for my children. MY children...i don't claim to know what's right for other people's children, of course! :)

and so yes, i would have a problem if i went into a store that had a big scary, gross halloween display in a place that we couldn't avoid upon entering...i don't have a problem with there being a halloween section...we can easily avoid that.

i also have a problem with PG and R-rated movies being played on tvs at stores! and seriously violent video games! there are reasons for the ratings! research has proven time and time again that these shows and games are inappropriate for young children... go to the lion and lamb project to see scads of articles and research on the topics of viewing violence and children. its totally up to parents to decide what their children can and cannot watch...i respect that in others...so all i expect is the same in return...

it's disrespectful and inappropriate to bombard families with images that many might find offensive. yes, you can just choose not to go to the stores with the offenses...but its happening all over the place these days so what are we supposed to do? stay home all the time? we have stores like target and walmart, that sell pretty much everything (and i shop at regularly), that have the scary displays up and sometimes inappropriate shows and games playing...becomes a game to get away from it all! and not a fun one! we have grocery stores with scary halloween displays...electronic stores with very LOUD inappropriate shows and games playing...and on and on and on...so how are we to avoid it all? we have to shop for things! i need toilet paper, food, clothes, etc....i can't buy it all online, nor should i have to!

and do people even realize how hard and how awkward it is to have to keep avoiding places and displays and such? yes, i believe in freedom and that those that enjoy that stuff should be allowed to enjoy it...but not at the expense of those that don't enjoy it...and definitely not at the expense of the sensitive children who may even be literally traumatized by it. my child can sometimes have nightmares about this stuff...i don't think the joy of others should come above her possible emotional injury.

that's just my belief.

make it easily avoidable...and maybe even give us some warning signs to help us avoid it. that's all i'm asking....

if you have scary halloween displays...put it all in one place and point signs towards it so those that want to enjoy it can find it easily and those that want to avoid it can avoid it easily.

put the PG & R rated movies and video games in a separate section where it cannot be viewed or heard by young children...separate room would be even better! but not necessarily realistic for most stores...so just put it somewhere where it can be avoided. and mark it for those that want to avoid it. "warning, movies and games in this area may not be suitable for young children"...they do this for tv and movies...why can't they do this for stores? mark that section rated M for mature!

i really don't think that's asking too much.

i respect other's rights to choose what their children are exposed to ....i expect the same respect. let ME choose what my child is exposed to.

do know-it-alls REALLY know it all?

*sigh* this is a personal pet peeve of mine. perhaps because i've been bombarded with it pretty much my whole life by a person who shall remain nameless, lol. so i'm very sensitive to the know-it-all, braggy type person. i even have had my moments and struggle with bragginess myself. i am so ashamed when i catch myself falling into that kind of talk...i try very hard to not be like that...i find it so very ugly. but i'm not perfect...it happens from time to time. hopefully not so often that others notice too much.

anyway, there are people i'm forced to interact with in my life that are like this and it really drives me nuts. it makes me want to say to them "don't you realize how incredibly stupid you make yourself look when you talk like that?" and "don't you realize you are so completely transparent when you talk like you are the expert on every topic that comes up...it's so blatantly obvious you are overcompensating for an incredibly low self esteem?" why is it so obvious to the rest of us but not so obvious to the braggarts?

well recently i've started going to some parenting classes...and there is one person in particular in one of the classes that is like this that is really so irritating to me that i just really come away from the experience more annoyed than having learned something. i have been to both classes, so those that are reading this that are local to me and know this class won't necessarily know specifically which person i'm speaking of unless they are as annoyed by her as me and happen to be in that specific class. lol! is that vague enough of me? LOL!

anyway, this person has always been like this as long as i've known her and actually its something that is well known about her by pretty much every mom i've talked to about it. not that i talk much about it...but when the subject comes up about this particular annoyance...the braggy, know-it-all attitude of this person...i have heard time and time again from others that they notice it too and are also irritated by being around this person. anyway...i guess its just who she is and i don't suppose it will ever change. but its someone i prefer to not have to be around because of this...it's just something that irks me to no end and makes me want to shout "shut UP!!!"

i used to work with a person like this...awhile back...and again, it was well known about this person. in fact we had jokes about it...."so do you suppose this person will find a way to squeeze her sky diving experience into the conversation today?" and she usually didn't disappoint us! LOL! i swear, it was so friggin amazing how many times in a week she would be able to bring up the fact that she went sky diving once! it was so laughable!

she also managed to put a damper on my birthday one time...i couldn't believe how blatant it was...but she apparently didn't know...we were spending the day in san fran and my friend and i had spent the day together and this annoying person and another friend of mine had spent the day together separately...we hooked up and were sharing how our day went...so we would talk about what we did and how fun it was and she literally kept butting into our sharing with "oh well WE did this this and this and it was sooooo fun!" on and on and on...it was like out of a movie...everything we did, they did something even better! i finally just blew up! (and those who know me, know that this really doesn't usually happen with anyone other than family...i'm not a big blower-upper...not with friends) i pointed out how friggin annoying it was thatshe was saying everything we did, they did better...and "happy fucking birthday to me!!!" LOL! everyone was a bit shocked. (oh did i mention i had a potty mouth back then?) LOL!

anyway, i just cannot believe how transparent these braggy people are and just don't realize it or refuse to face it. they seriously think that everyone can't tell how insecure they are? how sad for them! what a sad existance.

and for this particular mom i'm talking about today...how sad for her children to be raised by someone with such low self esteem...modelling this sort of behavior as normal and ok...it will certainly make its way into their personalities as well.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

a new partnership!

so i had this idea to create a website for rotary storyland/playland. they don't have a website and they really should have one. i talked to my friend jen of four little ducks and she is willing to create the site with me. she's a graphic designer...i'm good at content, she's good at making it look pretty. :)

so i left a message on the voicemail of storyland/playland's executive director (found the number in the phone book) this morning...and this afternoon he returned my call! he's excited about it and so now i'm super excited!

i will be working with jen and the rotary club to create their website and then i will maintain it for them. i have all sorts of ideas. the best part is that it could be really great publicity for fresnofamily! storyland and playland have been in the news a lot lately because of all the problems they've been having with funding and so getting in on things with them, to help them out...could get my site in the news! and also they have agreed to link back to my site from theirs. so this could really help me out a ton! i really hope so!

i'm really excited to get going on this! jen and i are meeting with the executive director on tuesday morning...i am anxious to see where it leads! how fun!!!

tyren update

i never did update how tyren's going...woops! yes he's sleeping better...that last post was after a really hellish nite. he's back to his normal restless sleep. which is not easy, but much more tolerable.

i switched him to disposable diapers at nite...i'm still not entirely certain they help...but they don't hurt and i don't feel so inclined to jump up and run to the other room to get a new diaper for him now in the middle of the nite when he wakes up crying. he's also waking up crying less...more just stirring and less crying...and when he does cry...not so hard, usually. he is still itching though. poor baby.

i haven't been putting lotion on him so much cuz his skin really looks ok now. still feels scratchy on his back and belly...but his legs are mostly healed now and his diaper rash is usually gone. every once in awhile it will get red again but most diaper changes it looks pretty normal. if i know i'm not going to be able to change him for longer than normal i put aquaphor on him and that seems to help ward off the worst redness.

i have had a lot of advice to take him and myself off of dairy and i am so not wanting to do that but i suppose i should at least try it. its really hard though because i am a total cheese addict. i will have a really hard time staying off of cheese. most everything else would probably be ok...i'm not usually eating tons of dairy every day but the things that i do eat with cheese i eat frequently and can't eat them without. like tacos. how the heck do you eat tacos without cheese? yuck.

so i'm thinking of trying to do it for just a week...that will be hard enough. if i do notice a significant change i'll think about it further. but man, its going to be very hard. i sure hope its not dairy doing this to him.

i've also gotten a lot of other advice but frankly haven't had time to think much about it all. i'll sort through it when i can. i keep getting sidetracked by other things.