Saturday, February 17, 2007

please tell me i'll get better at this with age

it just occurred to me that i simply canNOT do all that i need to do. i mean, i guess i sorta knew that before, but it just really sunk in...there's far too many things that i need to do and there's simply not enough me to go around nor enough time in the day. i'm not even talking about extra things like...taking a shower...getting my hair cut...buying new clothes...washing/cleaning out the car...enjoying a good book....

no, i mean the dire necessities like laundry, dishes, feeding my children (feeding myself is an extra), nursing the baby (separate from feeding, since he likes solid food too) dressing the children, homeschooling, changing diapers, picking up around the house so we can actually walk without tripping on something, cooking, buying groceries, going to the bathroom....the things that we simply cannot NOT do. if i wrote all those things down on a master list and had some way to calculate accurately how much time each takes and total that up with how much time in a day/week/month...there wouldn't be enough time to do it all. there simply isn't. then of course, the non-necessities tend to screw things up...like watching tv, working on the computer, socializing with friends....and throw the whole thing off by taking up more time even though i don't have it. but those things are things that keep us all sane, so i simply won't not do them.

that's a choice, i know.

i could choose to only do the bare necessities and actually finally stay on top of things and have some harmony to our house...no more wondering what that smell is and where its coming from...no more digging through dirty laundry to find something that isn't too dirty because there wasn't time or energy to do wash recently...no more having to hand wash a spoon because they're all dirty...no more running through a drive through because no one feels like cooking and we've not found the time to buy groceries...

but really, what would life be like without the NONnecessities? pretty boring, i'm guessing. well different at least. honestly we go absolutely bananas around here if we don't get out of the house regularly. we really do. i know that's not truly a necessity...but for our sanity, it sorta is.

anyway...my point...what was my point? oh yes....there's just not enough time. and i suck at budgeting my time. so my house is a wreck and we don't always eat home cooked meals and i am floundering with a lot of my life...but...i guess i really shouldn't complain...because i know it could be much worse...

and anyway...it WILL get better as the kids and i all age, right? *sigh*

i keep thinking if i can just survive tyren's toddlerhood...things will improve significantly. we don't call him "tyren the tornado" for nothing...he seriously tears through this house and leaves everything strewn in his wake. and *I* get criticized for not keeping a clean house???????? i'd like to see those that judge try to do what i do 24/7 with the toddler and the homeschooling 6yr old and the 2 online businesses and the messy house and actually be able to do well at any of it!

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