Saturday, July 14, 2007

ahhh high school

i recently created a yahoogroup for my graduating class because our 20year reunion is coming up next year. so there's people joining and reminiscing. all different people from all different high school cliques. very interesting to see us all talking as grownups after all the drama of high school when many of us never would have given the others the time of day in high school. or maybe just wouldn't have noticed the others. nice to finally have grown up.

the weirdest part is that there are people on there that i had HUGE falling outs with during high school that i can now converse with like nothing ever happened. well not entirely like nothing happened. i don't think any of us care in current time about all that happened but i imagine there are some residual feelings from what we had to endure in the past.

thinking about my own hurt feelings over a huge blowup i was a part of where i was the recipient of hurt...it makes me feel bad about another situation where i was on the opposite side. from my situation, i can still remember how it felt to be tossed aside and made to feel completely unimportant and reading these people's memories from high school where i'm not a part of their recall (probably mainly because of our falling out senior year...i WASN'T part of their senior year...but i was a big part of previous years, or at least in my memories i was), it just makes me remember that pain, bleh....which makes me think about this other person that probably felt the same way from how WE treated HER! i don't even remember why all of it happened...just that there was a lot of drama and she ended up not being a part of the group anymore and there were a lot of hateful things... *sigh* such is adolescence.

i recently wrote in a questionnaire we're filling out about memories and thoughts about high school..."i was just glad to get out alive!" and that is so true. i do have fond memories of high school...in retrospect i can say that i truly enjoyed high school...but my memories are so interlaced with all the drama and pain that its hard to think of one without the other! stupid things that i shouldn't have been upset about (but at the time, i was a hormonal, immature teen...so of course everything was huge!) and things that i deserved to be upset about but surprised to remember the feelings from after all these years....people that i have fond memories of that don't remember me...ouch...lordy i'm just so glad high school is over and done with, geez!

this trip down memory lane has such mixed feelings...i was thoroughly enjoying it but its just not entirely happy memories anymore so....i think its time for me to go back to present reality.

the reunion's not for another year...i highly doubt that we'll be able to afford it anyway...and if we could, i'm not entirely sure i really want to go...there's some people i'd love to see that probably won't be there...and the majority of people that will be there i really don't know, and don't share memories with so i'm not sure it would be worth forking out the money to go. but i am glad that i'm doing the egroup...its free! :)

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