Thursday, August 16, 2007

waaaaaaaaay too much going on lately!

let's talk chaos...there's been so much going on to stress me out lately that i don't even know where to this will be in no particular order...just as i remember them.

lets see, i'll start with the most recent...adam has been working his ASS off lately. for his fulltime job. he has had shoots for table mountain (i think its been the same client for all these shoots) this week...starting yesterday, when he went into work at 5am...yes that's 5AM!!! and didn't get home to after midnite! lets see that would be 18+ hours! yesterday sucked!

today he slept in a little (i didn't let him sleep very issues...more on that in a bit)...and went into work around 10am. and we won't see him again before bedtime. he expects to be shooting til after 10pm. which means he probably won't be home til after 11...and if its anything like last nite something will happen to keep him there even longer. shoots never ever run like clockwork. there's always more stuff to do that turns up, or things take longer. always. well the good news on today is that the kids got to see daddy briefly this morning and we made it a point to go into work this afternoon to pick up his paycheck so they got to see him briefly again. if i manage to stay awake (not likely), i MAY see him tonite when he gets home...maybe.

tomorrow...more of the same...going into work regular time (maybe later...if we're lucky...but he has other clients that he's busting his ass for this week too, so might not be able to get the time off to give him a break) he has late shoots again tomorrow nite and saturday nite. wanna know the worst part? he gets no overtime pay for working his ass off for this stuff. if he did, it might feel worth it...but he's on salary. so he's supposed to take time off to compensate for the extra hours. but guess what? because of the way his job works, he rarely can take that extra time off because of clients needing stuff done...very often last minute. (WHY do clients seem to do everything last minute? do they not think anyone else has a life and should just drop everything for them because they didn't plan ahead? well i guess they do and since they're paying for it...well i guess they deserve to get what they pay for...argh, its a lose lose situation for our family in my eyes, argh argh argh!!) sometimes he is able to get time off. but he pretty much never takes off the same amount of extra time that he worked. he's very dedicated to his job so he does what needs to be done and so basically he busts his ass for nothing. ok not nothing, because it helps the company and the company pays his its keeping paychecks coming in. but it just steams me that he gets taken away from his family like this. ok it doesn't happen every doesn't even happen every month. but when it does happen it happens in clusters like this and it really puts me and the kids out and they ask where daddy is...maeven sometimes cries because she misses daddy and i'm stressed to the max because i've essentially had to be a single parent during the time he's gone and i'm not equipped to do so.

ok i know that there are single parents out there going "wah, we do it all the time without help"...yeah well, you know you have to do it yourself...and your life is set up that way. mine is not. i'm NOT a single parent and i HATE being forced to be one!

more stuff going on but my toddler is falling asleep in my arms and i gotta wake him up or i'm going to have him sleeping for an hour or two and then up again until 2am like he did the other day. nooooooo siree...WAKE UP!!!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

"Bible absurdities"

OMG this is frickin HILARIOUS!!!

wowee, there's some amazing stuff in there! this is one of my favorites:

Jacob displays his (and God's) knowledge of biology by having goats copulate while looking at streaked rods. The result is streaked baby goats. Gen 30: 37-39

i literally was laughing out loud reading so much on that webpage! there's some really "uhhhhh" moments...meaning, that book is so full of stuff that is so absurd that its just amazing to me that so much of the planet puts so much stake in it.

and yet, my own father believes devoutly in it so of course i do respect the believers...just had to take a moment to laugh at some of the stuff in there. obviously i won't be sharing that link with my father. i have no desire to attack his beliefs...i respect his as he respects mine, of course. :)

but i can let loose on my blog cuz its my blog, hehe. :)

Friday, August 10, 2007

"conveyor-belt education"

ah HA! i found someone on the internet that uses a very similar analogy to me! i have been calling public education "assembly-line education" for of the many reasons i homeschool (there's oh-so-much-more, too many to go into here now...i'm sure i've written about many of them in the past and i have a lot of them spelled out here), this form of education is NOT what i want for my kids...i am far more of an outside-the-box thinker to be happy with that kind of education for my kids. this is also why i chose to not pursue a teaching credential because i knew it would be a waste of my time and energy since i don't agree with their methods of education.

the "conveyor-belt education" reference came from this very interesting review of thomas jefferson education here. found it after i learned of this yahoogroup, and googled "thomas jefferson education." i've heard of it before but never really looked into it.

i was immediately drawn to this definition of "conveyor-belt education":

Public education (or conveyor-belt education) - A public education prepares everyone for a job, any job, by teaching them what to think. Public education historically existed to teach the poor so they could land a job. The poor had no other option, but public education. Today, most of America only receives a public education. Their education is set up like a factory: everyone in the class gets the same education at the same age from the same textbooks, and they are tested the same and graded based upon the same scale regardless of their individual talents, goals, interests, personal mission. Conformity is the name of the game in public education.

that's just dead-on!

now, in contrast, they have this definition:

Leadership education (Jefferson education) - Leadership education teaches students how to think and prepares them to be leaders in their homes & communities, entrepreneurs in business, and statesmen in government. ***This is the type of education that I want for my children and I would guess most of you want for your children. It encourages thinking outside the box, which is difficult for most Americans (not as difficult for homeschoolers :-)
Throughout history, leaders have been homeschooled by mentors and tutors. Then they move on to prep schools and study the classics by using the mentors approach. It is the mentor system that creates leaders. Unfortunately the leaders in America have been trained to be professionals and specialists - not leaders. Most of our nation consists of followers who do not have a problem with the system at hand. If our children are to overcome this dilemma, we must train them to be entrepreneurs and statesmen by the historically-proven methods for training leaders.

so now i'm intrigued...methinks that its time for me to learn a little about thomas jefferson education! hmmm...

Sunday, August 05, 2007

i am who i am

i bet there are plenty of people that don't like me. actually i know that there are. there was a time when that would bug me. after managing local groups and websites and egroups for years now, it doesn't bother me anymore. i know for a fact that there are people, local and online, that hate my guts even. *shrug* i find it interesting.

i'm not an in-your-face, aggressive type person...i'm actually not entirely certain what makes some people hate me. but i don't have the energy to worry about it. i have too many important things to worry about. its not my job to make people like me. if they don't, they don't.

i do know that i have a strong personality. perhaps that's what rubs people the wrong way sometimes. i definitely am not a person that just blends into the scenery and you don't really notice me. i'm sure i have my moments, in places where i maybe don't feel very comfortable...but that's very few and far between. i feel very comfortable, for the most part, amongst new situations and people. can't help it when i grew up in the military, moving every 2 or 3 years, having to start from scratch with new friends and new home and new neighborhood and even new countries! can't help but just learn to be very adaptable. i actually find new things exciting.

but i do come on strong sometimes, i know...particularly about topics that i am passionate about. those topics vary month to month. and as the years go by, some topics cycle and some, for example, i've been a strong breastfeeding advocate, and a natural birth advocate and an anti-circumcision advocate...but my youngest is now 2years old and frankly, i just don't have the energy to continue to be so passionate about topics that are quickly moving out of my life. we're (hopefully) in our last year of nursing...he's already intact and i don't have the energy to try to talk anyone else out of circing, when it seems no one really listens to me anyway...and natural birth...well, i've struck out 3 times with that. its a sore topic and i just really am not interested in diving into it anymore...i have more important things to think about.

right now my passion is homeschooling and specifically secular charlotte mason. and i would add to that list quality, non-violent, open-ended toys for children...those are my main passions right now. don't get me wrong, i will always be pro-breastfeeding and pro-natural birth and anti-circumcision, etc...but i just don't have time for the topics nor do i have much interest in them anymore. i'm tired of them. moving on to non-baby topics. its very refreshing actually.

anyway the topic for this ramble is taht "i am who i am" though...

i think my inlaws think i'm a hippie freak. particularly amusing to me because i know real hippie freaks and i definitely do not qualify. i'm not a vegetarian nor an active environmentalist...i don't eliminate plastic or toxins from our lives...i'm not wearing nor dressing my kids in all organic clothing...i'm not actively protesting anything...i'm not anywhere near what i would consider a "hippie". but i do take it as a compliment because my view of what hippies are (not all, but the ones that i know) are people that are strong in their alternative lifestyle and convictions. i am strong in my convictions but just not in the convictions that i would label as "hippie."

but i guess my breastfeeding, anti-circumcision, pro-natural birth, homeschooling, babywearing, co-sleeping, babywearing (well, former), gentle discipline (no spanking) person that i am must seem pretty alternative and "hippie freak"-ish to them, maybe? so weird to me because i am so middle of the road in my world. i do come on strong with my topics of interest at times (trying really hard not to) but i'm still pretty middle of the road. i'm definitely not mainstream, but i'm not super alternative either.

people who don't like me or understand me i guess just don't get someone who marches to a different drummer. i do question things. alot. i don't question EVERYTHING...and frankly i'm tired of doubting things, but i still can't help but doubt because i have learned SOOOO much on so many topics that i'm far too educated to just sit back and accept things without question. there's just way too much that is misinformation out there so i tend to doubt more than i like, but i still won't go back to just accepting without research. i can't. sometimes i wish i was less educated, but i still wouldn't change things.

anyway, those are my thoughts on a sunday morning.