Wednesday, February 27, 2008

what do you REALLY want for your kids?

i just got this wayne dyer video from the library. its REALLY old, he's got hair in it! LOL! not much, but some...and he only has 5 kids in it and i'm pretty sure they went on to have 8 total.'s the key points from the video:
(his words, not mine, but i totally agree)

I want my children to value themselves.
I want my children to be risk-takers.
I want my children to be self-reliant.
I want my children to be free from stress.
I want my children to have peaceful lives.
I want my children to celebrate the present moments.
I want my children to experience a lifetime of wellness.
I want my children to be creative.
I want my children to feel a sense of purpose.

Some of my notes from the video:
You are what you choose to be in your life. (Teach kids this!)
Nobody likes to be told what to do.
Nobody likes to be criticized.
Catch them doing things right.
Criticism makes people not want to do it.
You become what you think about all day long.
You become what your thoughts make of you.
Your life is really what you think.
Imagery is mental practice.
You begin to behave or act based on the images you have in your mind.
Constantly reinforce the positive image, and after a while they start acting on that image.
You help them create the image that they have in their heads...which they act on in their lives.
Confidence comes from taking risks.
Praise and self worth go hand in hand.
Self-worth comes from a belief that you are worthy. You are worthy because you say it is so.
Confidence comes from practice.
Your uniqueness as a human being is the most important thing you have.

E.E. Cummings:
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you just like everybody else, means to fight the greatest battle there is to fight and never stop fighting."

Mommy and Daddy do not love you because of your successes in life, we love you because you ARE.
Risk-taking and confidence go hand in hand.
There are doers in the world and there are those that are afraid, those that are critics.
You've got to be willing to take risks.
Everything you learn, you learn by DOING.

I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.
And not one moment before.
The only way to understand is to take a risk.
The only way to have success in life is to fail.

You can't raise them to be relying on you...if you do, you do them a disservice.
3 out of 4 people will blame something/someone outside of themselves when things go wrong...those same people, when wanting to be up, will look outside of themselves to get themselves up (joint, drugs, booze, etc)
If you raise your children to be inner-directed, to take responsibility for themselves, constantly putting the focus on who THEY are, rather than what other people are doing to them...then when the drugs come along they won't need something to get high outside of themselves.

Learning to be self reliant means constantly having parental interjections which put the responsibility for what you are on yourself rather than on something or someone outside of yourself.
The job of discipline is to help children to discipline themselves.
We don't want our children to grow up believing they only need to be disciplined when someone else is around.
There's ALWAYS a better way than hitting.

I want my children to be free from guilt, anxiety, stress.
Celebrate the present moments of your children's lives.
Get rid of this notion that they are apprentice people...that they're on their way to becoming a person.
See them as whole and complete NOW.
They don't have to get ahead of the other guy to be happy.
Imagine being a person that always knows how to enjoy matter what comes down the pike.

"Sparky Anderson, manager of the Detroit Tigers told me, 'I wouldn't put any child in organized athletics under the age of 15.'"

Teach them: Don't tell yourself the wrong things about the events in life...nothing in life can upset you, its only what you tell yourself about things in life...

"We don't hit each other in this family, we love each other."
Having an environment of fighting all the time raises children to fight.
If hitting children worked, then you'd only have to do it once in awhile.
We need a generation of children who hate hitting. "Spanking is awful."
Are you inclined to behave when treated angrily? No, you are inclined to strike back.

Raising children on love, not hate...You can't give away what you don't have. If you don't have love inside you, you can't give it away.
Everytime you're angry at someone else, you're saying "If only you were more like me then I wouldn't have to be mad at you right now."

The greatest understanding you can have is that you don't understand, and that its ok.
When you stop needing to make somebody else wrong, you stop needing to make yourself right, you can have anything you want for yourself in your life.

Celebrate present moments--not always be heading somewhere else.
Each child you bring into the world, has only got now...the past is over, the future is promised to none of us. All they have are these moments.

The highest functioning people are those that make peak experiences out of everything. If you want to know who does it the best...unspoiled children! look at life in terms of your magnificent potential for health instead of being sick.

My beliefs about my health are a lot more significant than whatever disease process is out there.

What does it mean to be creative? To apply your matchless self to anything you're doing in life.
It takes one creative person to make a difference in the world.

Its a way of living, not a place that you get to.
Let them see a model of a human being who is living what I'm talking about.
Let them see someone who looks and feels good about themselves.

"You're children are not your children...They are the products of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not for you."
Khalil Gabran

Powerful stuff!

you bweaked it, daddy!

tyren saw adam put the leaf down on the kitchen table for the first time just now, clean the crevice. tyren was HORRIFIED and angry that daddy "broke" the table...gave adam a very stern and angry face and said "you BWEAKED it, Daddy!!!" ( broke it).

adam and i were cracking up. TOO FUNNY! and this right after he dumped a half a bottle of flavored water all over the table for the heck of it and we were all angrily cleaning it up. brought some comic relief to the situation.

my son the comedian.

for all you star wars fans out there

this is hysterical and adorable at the same time!

Monday, February 25, 2008

mr mcgroovy, where have you been all my life?

today tyren was wanting to play in our fireplace fort. we have a corner fireplace in the middle of our living room which has 2 open sides and back when maeven was like 1, i got tired of trying to keep her out of it since no matter how much i cleaned it it still was sooty, and we never used it as a fireplace, so i got a cardboard box and made a fort for her in it. it worked really well for quite some time...but over the years (gosh, its been like 5 or 6 years that that thing has been in there!) its gotten pretty beat up and now it is falling apart.

poor tyren never got to really reap its benefits and he recently discovered it, of course. so now that the roof is falling in and the thing is filthy inside, he wants to play in it! so of course i decided i just had to rebuild it with a new box!

something made me google building with cardboard, not sure why...i guess because the duct tape i used for it never really was a great way to do it. it still was kinda droopy and hair got stuck in it from time to time.

so anyway i googled and look what i found!!! well of course i had to buy some! so i'm very excited that by the end of the week, i may just be making us a new fort! and i think i'll be playing around with some other forts as well! i can't wait to play with it! and i'll let maeven design her own little house for her room too...she'll love that!

i'll post pics when we make something...i'm so excited!!!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

i started a new blog

that's i need another blog...i have one for each of my kids (including baelin)...which never get written in. *sigh* hardly have time for mine! and can't get maeven to write anything in hers lately.

anyway i created a fresno family blog, which will eventually replace my news box on the homepage.

but now i'm having a dickens of a time figuring out how to add it to my website. i know there's a way to feed it to my site...but damned if i can figure out how to do it! i woulda thought that there'd be all kinds of info on this all over the web, but so far i'm not finding it!

well, i've posted on some forums, maybe they will have some answers for me.

its frustrating! i know there's a way to do it!! jeez!

anyway, so that's my new blog, stay tuned for local info there if you are a local.


a couple mornings ago tyren woke up, rolled over (we hadn't yet opened our eyes yet that i knew of...i was still laying there next to him in bed, hadn't even attempted to open my eyes yet) and said --
"HI SuperMommy!!"

no lie.

no idea where that came from, but my son just woke up one morning and decided i was supermommy. LOL!!!

it was hysterical!

he does watch super why, so he's been getting familiar with "super" things...we sometimes call him "super baby" or "super tyren" and let him have a cape to play with (usually a silk tied around his neck)...but he had never just out of the blue called me super mommy...too funny!

this kid is a riot. i have to remember that after a day of him to refusing anything and everything i want/need him to do. *sigh*

so, now i'm supermommy. i kinda like that. :)

Monday, February 18, 2008

stupid people

i really REALLY hate stupidity. really. so i find this thread particularly amusing and horrifying at the same time simply because of all the stupid people in the world that say those kind of things to moms. unbelievable! makes me want to go find them and SHAKE them! particularly the ones who are just nasty to the new moms! i don't get it! what are they trying to accomplish? thank god the stupid things that have been said to me are pretty few and far the point i cannot even think of any off the top of my head. i would hope i could come up with a good comeback should something be said to me...but i tend to wimp out, much like so many of the moms on that thread. :( then there is the reality of having to continue to deal with the people that said them to you and i hate friction so i try to avoid it at all costs. *sigh* ah well, i like to think that if my children were being harassed or something like that that my mama bear would come out. i guess we'll have to wait and see. and also hope that i never have to find out! :)

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Motto to live by!!

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO what a ride!' "

Sunday, February 10, 2008

the SCICON i want to share

i've been doing a lot of thinking about SCICON since the pizza man song incident...and watching the now i'm thinking about what about SCICON i want my children to experience...

lets start from the beginning of a typical 6th grader's experience of SCICON...mondays...

lets see...arrive via bus at SCICON and an intern takes your class on an orientation walk around the grounds...showing you the villages you'll be staying in (and not), and the lodge and just walking you around to show you the immediate facilities (no trails yet)...this is all a nice opening to the week at SCICON...sounds good so far...i envision this to be groups of families instead of classes of kids (since we're homeschoolers).

lunchtime...the lodge is now about double the size it was when i worked probably kids are less crammed into the space...eating at tables with new friends and old...eating as much as they can eat of the great food the kitchen staff cooks for them. (YUM!) yup, that would be great for my kiddos as well...i envision homeschool families sitting at tables with other homeschool families and getting to know one another. won't need the high school counselors since parents will be along to supervise. probably still a good idea to follow most of the rules of the lodge, though...the walking one way and waiting for announcements and such. or maybe not. maybe with families we'd be more casual.

trail time...12 kids per trail guide with a high school counselor or 2...out in nature, walking the trails, learning science concepts hands-on in a beautiful natural setting...LOVE IT!! i envision whole families going on trails...but in some instances perhaps those with little ones that would just be disruptive on trails could have an age appropriate activity somewhere else on the grounds that they could be taken by one parent to and their older sibs could go on the trails with the other parent, or maybe they go with a friend that has a parent to supervise them so both parents can do something else...up to the families to determine as long as there are enough grown ups on any given trail that are consciously helping the trail guide as needed. :)

afternoon teacher time...each teacher did different things with their kids...trails or activities or just free play...i think this would be a great family free time to do the same.

dinner time...same as meals...YUM

evening campfire...trailguides lead the whole group in lots of fun songs and skits...REALLY FUN!! this would be great for our groups of families!!! especially the audience participation!

then to cabins...where families would share cabins (normally its kids with a high school counselor or 2)

tues, wed, thurs --starts with bfast, same as other meals...then morning trail, teacher time, lunch, cabin time, afternoon trail, teacher time, dinner, cabin time and evening activities...the only difference each day is the evening activity and there are some afternoon activities on certain days i can't remember which days is which but there is "new games" time with cooperative team building games by cabin, and a scavenger hunt, and the intern volleyball game (which could be parent volleyball game)...

tuesday nite: nite hikes (SOOOO cool to have special trails that are specific to darkness and nite!)
wed nite: folk dancing (oh my i LOVED these! the electric slide and amos moses and the hokey pokey and the chicken dance and SOOO much fun and lots of laughing!)
thurs nite: challenge nite (cabins are given a challenge and props to solve the challenges and work on it all week and this is the week they showcase what they came up with, complete with all the creativity they can come up with...this could be done similarly with families or maybe turn it into a skit nite/talent show.)

fridays...half day...breakfast and then closing trail to round out the week and a goodbye activity (i always did a group puzzle which they created and a story) and lunch and goodbyes with autographs at the lodge deck and off to the buses. with families we can modify this somewhat but still do a closing trail and goodbye activities to tie everything together.

anyway, i worked at SCICON for a whole school year. so i had a LOT of experience with all this and really want to share the joy and fun and education of SCICON with my family and with other families. if i wait and send maeven as a 6th grader (and that will only happen if i sign her up with a homeschool charter that year that goes to SCICON just specifically so she can go), then i'm going to miss all this!!!

there's sure to be an argument that part of the SCICON experience is the experience of being away from home. well sure. but the thing with most of the kids that are at SCICON is that their lives revolve around peers. that is how public and private school works. one of the reasons many of us homeschool is because we want the family to continue to be the focus of our children's lives. so of course, i want to share this experience with my children. not just send them to it. and its extra special to me because i already know what that experience will be like and i don't want to miss it!! :) i have no problem sending her on trails and to activities without me and my hubby...i just want to be at SCICON that week too so i can have fun too!!!

so now my job is to go and figure out how to make that happen! first i need to have liability insurance so i can book out SCICON for our group. that's coming soon, i hope! i have someone that is getting back to me on it very soon!

SCICON memories

i recently was singing the song "pizza man" to maeven and tyren and it made me get out the SCICON video (the video which brought adam and i together...we met because he came to SCICON while i was working there, to make this video) to show them their mommy on stage at campfire, singing that song with my friends for a group of like 200 kids. so fun to watch!!

unfortunately my memories of scicon are extremely tainted by my memories of the DEEP pain (i still feel it to this day) of being NOT part of the group. that year the interns were so tightly cliqued and i felt seriously rejected because of not being included in that clique. and i felt it deeply regularly. i thoroughly enjoyed my teaching time and nature and all that but when i remember back to that time i just can't help but feel a tightness in my heart over all the social pain i also experienced there. there was no malice by the other was just kinda like high school...they just didn't consider some of us as part of their inner circle and as such we got left out a lot. me, tamara and beckie z felt this a lot i'm sure because they all got treated the same way i did. but unfortunately amongst the 3 of us, we just couldn't really click ourselves...which is sad, but the reality of that time. we were all 3 very different.

i feel very angry sometimes when i think of how i felt during that year there. because it was so juvenile. it could have been such a wonderful time in all ways if the others had just been a little more mature and included the rest of us in their fun.

i can remember night after night after night of going down to the intern house lounge and hanging out and waiting for someone to include me in the conversation. there were times i would time it. i would pay attention to if anyone even said hi when i walked in (they rarely, if ever, did), and then see how long it took for someone to include me in their silly conversations and fun games (they rarely did). there were nights i would not be noticed at all. it was like i wasn't even there! that hurt SOOOO friggin bad. there were times i would hang out there for over an hour and not one person would even look at me, much less include me in their conversations.

i remember one time in particular that hurt like HELL and really brought it all to a head that i wasn't even considered when they were doing stuff. the whole gang piled into a car and were heading up to the scicon gate to do a "naked run"...(it was a drunken nite)...and i didn't want to do any naked running but i thought i'd go along to watch everyone else be dumb. when i got to the car, there was no room and they just looked at me like, "what are you thinking? we have no room for you, go away!" no one attempted to move over or make room or even say "sorry". they just drove off and ignored me. that night i could have killed myself because i was so dejected that i went for a walk on a trail that was pretty treacherous...and i did it when it was pouring down rain and i was pretty dang drunk. i walked all the way out to the rainbow bridge to sit under a tree and cry and feel sorry for myself. i could have slipped and died easily. luckily i didn't. no one even noticed i was gone. no one cared. when i got back i went and checked in with ron and he was mad that i had taken that chance, but he was in bed asleep and hadn't noticed i was gone either. :( (ron was my best friend at SCICON)

you know what, it makes me want to talk to the current interns and just give them a heads up about what a wonderful opportunity they have to be able to connect with ALL the interns they are working with. even if they don't hit it off with them all...that they could at least attempt to get to know them. i just really feel scarred from that aspect of my time at SCICON. :(

but i digress...i need to stop dwelling on the negative memories. i just have wanted to blog about that for awhile and now i have. watching that video yesterday reminded me of it all. i wonder if rick (the director of SCICON) would allow me to include a letter from a past intern to give to new interns and maybe even meet with them during their orientation and training and just give them a heads up to at least TRY to connect with all of them. i don't know if my year was unique in this or if i'm just a big baby or what. but i hadn't been rejected like that ever before that i can think of...was really used to be right in the middle of the gangs of it came as a huge shock and huge pain to me. i tend to think that if someone had just pointed out to the others how their actions were making me feel, that they might have changed their behavior because i think they were honestly just oblivious. so maybe i could just plant the seed into the minds of the new interns. i dunno, maybe.

anyway...back to the current times and the reality of now. :) got family time to do!

postscript: i just reread this and i sound pretty pathetic. well i was pretty pathetic at the time...and that's how i remember it. i know i could have just shrugged it off but the thing is that i had really looked at this opportunity as another chance to have the great experience of community and group fun that i had when i lived in teh dorms in college. what i got was so completely opposite. like i said, the work experience was GREAT! and i was the happiest i ever was in regards to that. i still think so fondly of the permanent staff and the naturalists especially and how wonderful they were and how great to get a chance to get to know people like briz and paul and bill the birdman and marcia marcia marcia...GREAT people! and i did have fun with the other interns at times...but the deep hurt i felt from being so completely ignored during social time cut so deep that to this day i remember it vividly. bleh, get over it tina. its not the end of the world but i sure would love to be able to just plant a seed into the minds of those that have experiences where they can choose to include or exclude people and help them think about always including because even as adults we can experience this sort of hurt. we were all in our 20s for pete's sake! you'd think we were mature enough to know this. guess not. still happens to me these days even sometimes...but i'm ok, i have my family and i am no longer alone when i go home and so there's not time or place to dwell on this sort of thing these days! :)

musical memories

i was just listening to the song "gimme 3 steps" by lynyrd skynyrd and man what a flashback! i love it when songs do that. bring you back to a different time.

this one had the image of an old boyfriend, todd, pop into my head. it often does. i remember when we were living in the dorms and my skinny-no-ass-redneck-teenager boyfriend was singing this song and really gettin into it. it was a song he really loved and so i learned to love it as well. but the memory is more than that. i can recall vividly the smile on his face as he sang and danced to it and acted it out...getting really close and in my face and just really thoroughly enjoying the song. it brings back the feelings i had way back then, watching him sing that song. brings back how at that time i was really enjoying watching HIM enjoying that song. it was a good memory.

now, of course, there were lots of not so great memories with the same guy...but since i've grown so much since that youthful relationship, i prefer to remember the happy times. for some reason that particular relationship has healed in my heart i guess (it took a LOT of years to get to that point) and i've since been in touch with todd and maybe that has helped me to be able to let go of the negative of that time. so i really enjoy this memory flashback of todd singing and dancing to "gimme 3 steps"...a 19yr old little stick of a kid, oozing with fun and sexiness (which back then was my whole world, but now i just remember fondly)...its a good memory.

i can remember fondly times and people from my past without tainting my present. i love that. because of course i am so completely in love with my husband now and wouldn't dream of wishing for a time or person long since past, even if it was a possibility (which its not, and i'm glad). its a good feeling.

another musical memory...whenever i listen to zztop or acdc or early bon takes me back to the 80s and high school...and the gang i used to hang out with back then. acdc particularly takes me back to cruisin in the camaro with tom, ken, ryan, and chris. LOL, and i just remembered the song "hey jude" (beatles, i think?) and that always makes me think of chris belting out that song in the backseat with me...and the song "living on a prayer" makes me remember vividly ken trying to hit those high notes, LOL!!! and just cruisin around as a teenager, happy as can be, without a care in the world, feeling accepted and loved in my gang of guys. (i was usually the only girl in that gang...but there were plenty of tempestuous times when my world was rocked by those same guys...but these songs i'm referring to remind me of the good times.)

right now i'm listening to ace of base...this first song "its a beautiful life" makes me think of so many times because i listened to this album a lot...but right now it makes me think of being lodge chief at SCICON outdoor school and when i used to crank this album when i had a girl's cabin in the lodge helping me clean...and they would be dancing and bebopping to the music while cleaning tables and windows...SO FUN!! i also think of that time when i play WAM! "wake me up before you go-go" because i used to play that song when i would be the guide that had to supervise in the kitchen with the kids dishwashing...they would be be-bopping to 80s pop while they washed and dried funny! most of those kids probably listen to rap crap normally and i exposed them to a different time and world, LOL!!!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

law of attraction

i watched an episode of oprah about this yesterday and its starting to intrigue me. i have heard of this concept for awhile but hadn't really gone very deep into it. i think maybe i should make some time to explore it more. there's a bunch of books on the subject...i think i may need to check out some of the ones oprah recommended on the show. i don't know...its so hard for me to get into reading lately. at least for myself. maeven and i are devouring chapter books that i'm reading aloud to her. (working on "a little princess" now)...but i've been struggling to get back into reading some really great books to myself lately. not sure why. just can't seem to focus.

anyway, i think i am going to try this whole positive thinking thing...i thought i did that but the more i think about it, the more i realize that i beat myself up daily over anything and everything. i'm forever second guessing myself and all i do...not fun.

i need to google the law of attraction and see what i can find on the net, since i don't have a book in my hand right now.

Friday, February 01, 2008

GOOD books!

oh man i am SO enjoying chapter books with maeven! we JUST finished heidi (which i thought i had read as a child, but i don't think i did!) what a WONDERFUL read!! i cried at times!! what a wonderful wonderful story! and what a sweet child! i am so in love with heidi now! :)

and i've just adored reading so many other great classics with maeven...before heidi we read (in no particular order):
the secret garden
stuart little
charlotte's web
my side of the mountain
the finch's fabulous furnace
mr popper's penguin
and a bunch of bobbsey twins and a variety of other littler, non-classic chapter books...

and that's not anywhere near a complete list. we go through chapter books like crazy and i'm not doing so good at keeping track of them.

next we are going to read "a little princess", which is currently waiting at the library for me to pick up...and then i think we will do "anne of green gables". all of these wonderful stories also have wonderful movies as maeven enjoys seeing the movies after we finish the book. (i INSIST we read first, watch later...not the other way around.)

many of these books i read as a child (but so long ago i'd long forgotten the plots) but some that i haven't! its SOOOO enjoyable to me to finally get to read them! i'm really eager to read anne of green gables! that's one i know i never read as a child, but i've many times seen bits and pieces of the series on pbs. what a lovable character, i cannot wait to introduce anne shirley to maeven. :)

but first i promised her to read "a little princess", because she SOOOO love "the secret garden" and they are the same author. she's excited to read it and see the movie. (BOOK FIRST, though!)

i am pretty sure the language in these books go over her head many times...but i'm ok with that. she asks questions here and there...and i figure we'll revisit the stories again when she is older and more able to understand all the language. but for now, i believe it is still very good for her to be exposed to such a richness of language and plots and characters. she definitely gets into it...she gets all excited and hops around like a maniac when happy things happen in the stories, and buries her head when sad or mean things happen. she's definitely getting into them. :)

if i do nothing else for my child, i am so very proud that she is getting these opportunities to learn to love reading good quality books like these. there is so much crap out there nowadays. and yes we do still read some of that on occasion too...well not so much crap but not as good of quality...she does so love the fairy stories that she sees in the stores, so we do read those too...they are a quick read, being mostly light and fluffy with no real depth to plot or character...but that's ok. we still get plenty of meaty books to read daily as well.

surprisingly, the disney fairy stories are actually quite good (there's another series maeven loves that i am referring to when i mean the lower quality fairy stories and other like it...can't remember the name but they are rainbow fairies or something like that.) disney usually does absolute crap stories for books. picture books and chapter books. i usually avoid them like the plague. but the neverland fairy stories are amazingly good! a little dark at times...but that's to be expected with disney. but really, i thoroughly enjoyed the first book that we read in the series "fairy dust and teh quest for the egg"...the littler, shorter books in the series are not quite so good, but man that egg book was REALLY good! so i have to find more like that. but for now, we have enough to read.

i'm feeling very much better after finishing that book. i was having a really grumpy day, with a sick child and a bored child. 3rd day stuck at home. but after finishing really have helped my mood significantly. :)

now i'm off to get some lunch made! late, as usual! ah well, so we are late eaters...for ever meal. oh well.