Wednesday, October 29, 2008

how busy am i?

hmmmm....let's see....things i'm currently working on, in no particular order:
  • planning maeven's 8th birthday party
  • figuring out how to apply for medi-cal (turns out we qualify, income-wise, even BEFORE adam's pay cut!! we'll see if we qualify with whatever else they count)
  • applying for WIC (we qualified for this even BEFORE adam's paycut! wish i had known a long time ago!!! and we didn't even barely make the cutoff...we were like a couple hundred a month BELOW the cutoff...BEFORE!) an appt on monday to figure that whole thing out
  • working on creating the new homeschool resource center for our area (right now i'm learning how to become a nonprofit...getting ready to submit the forms!)
  • working on getting sponsors to donate supplies to fix up the hansel and gretel exhibit at storyland (and then getting people to help do the actual work)...haven't started this yet, but its on my mind!
  • working on getting sponsors for the stevesongs concert i'm trying to plan for next spring, to benefit the discovery center--haven't started this yet either, but i really need to.
  • babyfest is always looming in the background...i really should get looking into what i should be working on for that. we don't usually start really working on it til 6months prior to the event though...let's see, that would be...crap. now. guess i better look into that pronto! i do already have the date set, at least! :) and i know that janet at the discovery center has said that she's already applying for grants and such to help sponsor the event. so at least there's not NOTHING being done. :)
  • always thinking about maeven's education...and starting to think of tyren's as well...even though i won't start him on true academics for a couple more years.
  • figuring out HOW THE HELL we are going to afford to live on this pay cut
  • figuring out what to do about the "big room" i need to think of what to cull from all the crap that is still in bags around the house because i'm facing the reality that that room is just not going to be done anytime soon and we need to get some of this stuff outta here and i need access to some of this stuff NOW.
  • figure out how to catch up on all the housework that has piled up really bad lately
  • working on getting my new website ready for a soft launch
  • planning this year's "holiday hoopla" on mommy chats, which will most likely pay for our christmas this year since adam won't be getting that bonus we always pay for xmas with.
well that about covers it for now...i'm sure there's more. but yeah, i'm a bit busy. wow i'm tired just looking at all that!

Monday, October 27, 2008

as if i wasn't stressed enough

adam just found out today he's getting a 10% pay cut starting with the next check (next payday is this friday). well everyone at his work is. its the boss's way of not having to lay anyone off. which is totally fair, i get that. times are tough, and the biz isn't doing well, so that's what has to happen. i totally understand and can appreciate the position they're in.

doesn't make it any easier on us, though, understanding... *sigh*

10% doesn't seem like much. but i think that will be roughly $130 less per paycheck. $260 less a month. that's HUGE for us! the way it was, we did quite well with his paychecks to pay for all our regular bills. nothing extra, just the regular stuff we could count on monthly. any bills that came in quarterly (like the $200 or so for adam's biz insurance, gifts, if the car breaks down, any repairs on the house, etc...) was money that had to come from somewhere else...which has been his freelancing work. or my websites' advertising income (which has dwindled to just barely enough to cover the costs of running the sites but does still give us a tiny bit of less than $100).

and of course, even with all that...even during GOOD months...we STILL cannot afford health insurance for me. the kids have healthy families and adam has insurance through work. i only get medi-cal when i'm nothing for me now. luckily (knock on wood) i've not had much time spent in dr's offices in recent years. until recently i only went annually to my obgyn to get my annual poke-n-prod (aka pap smear), which i pay directly for. no discounts. recently i finally decided i needed to be seen by a doc because of my migraines (averaging 2-6 a month) and my asthma (that always kicks in hardcore whenever i develop a cold...which is not often, so i've been able to ignore for years...but recently it got really tiresome coughing up a lung and having nothing to ease it.) so i found a new primary care physician and am now on medication for migraines that seems to be helping and i have medicine for when my asthma kicks in. paid out of pocket (well, will be once we get the bill) for the visit.

anyway, i'm off on a tangent, sorry...recently adam's not been getting much freelancing work and the stuff he gets don't always pay him for awhile. times are tough for everyone, i know. so not only are we going to be short the $260ish from his salary, but we are also very short on the extra income. how the hell do we handle that?

well, we do have a little stash that we call "house money" that we try to keep in a separate bank account that is for the remodel of our "big room." that's our garage conversion that was remodeled to a family room by previous owners. because of a flood caused by a hose left on (by me, *sigh*) that triggered toxic mold to grow, the entire room is gutted. we are starting essentially from scratch to rebuild it. and we decided to divide it in the process so that adam will have a new office and tyren can finally have a bedroom (adam's old office).

ANYWAY. so looks like we're going to have to be living off our "house money" for awhile. which means we won't be getting that room back anytime soon. *sigh* i've lived for over a year now without that room and its been really stressful. there really isn't enough room in the rest of the house for what i need for the kids. that room was the playroom so now our living room is always trashed and we have crap crammed in every corner in the house (ok not every the office and in the bedroom next to the bed, though, and filling up the garbage bags full of mold spore covered items that i cannot yet clean and bring back into the house because i have NO PLACE to put them!!) this is all my homeschool books (and all sorts of other books) and all kinds of art supplies and toys and other kid related items that we cannot access at all right now. makes homeschooling hard cuz i cannot access all my stuff. and because we don't have a good space for any messy work. the kitchen table is just not a good spot. i'm already rambling so i won't go into why, but its not a good spot.

so back to the original now things are worse then they already were. but surprisingly i'm not feeling like i'm losing it. i really don't know why but i feel kinda calm about it all.

we had to cancel our annual trip to marine world homeschool days. (six flags in vallejo...not called marine world anymore but it'll always be marine world to me). too expensive. we also had to cancel our visit to our local cornfield maze. we're prioritizing and those things just don't make the cut. maeven's actually taking it pretty darn well, surprisingly. and so am i. maybe i'm just remembering that there are people that have lost their jobs, and my hubby just got a pay cut. and there are people that are losing their homes all over the place....we still have ours.

not sure what's going to happen...but if we have to go longer without the big room, so be it. at least we'll survive. i hate to think of having to go longer, but maybe i'll start dragging that stuff out of garbage bags and start getting rid of more of it and demolding the stuff i do want to keep. maybe i'll get more decluttering done around the house and move stuff around and purge and purge and purge and get rid of more stuff. maybe, in all my spare time (LOL! like NONE lately...i'm so friggin busy) but once i get motivated, its hard to stop i'm going to hold this thought and come back to it tomorrow when i can do something about it.

first thing in the morning, methinks i will be trying to figure out where in the world to put my bookcase so that i can start demolding my books and bringing them in!!!

Friday, October 24, 2008

majorly stressed

i'm back to that kind of stress where i feel the walls closing in around me. after i write this i'm going to gather my kids and run some errands and get outside and breathe some fresh air and try to forget for a little bit.

what's stressing me? money. always money. especially right now. we have this blasted "big room" remodel (after the toxic mold situation) that we are always always always stressing over because we're short on space without that room...over a year now...and we have garbage bags full of the stuff from that room crammed in every spare corner and filling up the shed (all of which still need to be wiped clean with mold killer...but since i have no place to put the stuff now...there it sits in bags). and my son doesn't have a room and its starting to be a problem. and all of this is because of money. because we don't have the money to hire someone to just finish the damn we are relying on our brother-in-law, who's wonderful, but has a busy life. and so we keep having to wait and wait and wait for the damn room to be worked on! weeks keep going by with nothing done. then a spurt of work, then nothing for weeks. and right now i am ready to just charge the damn thing and get the damned room DONE!! because its a lot to ask rob to keep giving up his weekends to do this for us and its a lot for us to have to keep WAITING and WAITING for it to be DONE!!! its so friggin stressful all around!!! so what to do? hell if i know!

and then...there's more money problems...we have figured it out that adam's paycheck JUST covers all our necessities. all the regular bills. nothing else. i mean nearly to the penny. and then there's always this time of the year that has all kinds of things happening...halloween, maeven's birthday, adam & my birthday, then my brother's birthday, then tim's birthday, then christmas. oh forgot about thanksgiving. not costly, but we usually have to bring some food.

all that costs money. and of course with the country being in the financial state its in, its not a surprise that adam's work is barely managing to keep afloat. and so that will probably mean no christmas bonus this year...and that bonus usually pays for all of christmas and then some. so that means we are counting on not getting one, just in case. which means we have to worry about where the hell to get money to pay for everything. which means that adam needs to make some money and there's not a lot of freelance work available right now. and every bit we get we keep feeling like it needs to go into the big room...but then there's no work being done on it most weeks, so the money keeps getting friggin eaten away!!!

its sooooooooo frustrating!

so we are looking at canceling our trip to marine world. since we just don't have the money. our annual homeschool days at marine world trip is really fun, but it will be so stressful since we cannot afford it! my mom has offered to pay, but i don't know...we'll have to think about it some more.

anyway, i'm stressed. we have not enough money and we have lots of things that need money. ok i need to get away from this stress now.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

cute cute cute penguin video!

we use youtube to give tyren something to distract him from the nightly teeth brushing...he found this one tonite...CUTE CUTE CUTE!!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

not really a huge surprise, i'm mostly liberal

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 40% Conservative, 60% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

i did find the last part very surprising though! i really can't say that i know much about what these words even mean though. video

it IS something to think about! :)

by the way, i am really loving this show! the young turks is not a show by and for turkish people, as i originally thought...from their site:

Young Turk (n), 1. Young progressive or insurgent member of an institution, movement, or political party. 2. Young person who rebels against authority or societal expectations. (American Heritage Dictionary)
i'm really enjoying their videos! i keep finding fascinating info on there! check it out!

Monday, October 06, 2008

ugh, "aunt flo" and children's squabbles

i don't get horrid periods...but i'm crampy today and not feeling up to doing much. not to mention, tyren woke up last night for some reason (NO idea why! he's not sick or anything) and stayed awake talking to me and kicking me for what seemed like 2 hours! not sure what time it started but in the middle i looked at the clock and it was like 5am or something. lovely. so i'm tired from that too.

and my kids fighting is exhausting me. i have to say that right at this moment they are both happily playing together outside in the sandbox...with the hose. they love playing in the wet sand and water. we'll see how ....oh lookee, i didn't even get to finish that sentence and then they were coming in the door. well that didn't last long. but they did get some time to play together outside for a little while. that was nice! :) i'll just revel in the babysteps.

now tyren is taking a bath and i finally talked maeven into some quiet reading in her room. today is a lax day. i just don't have the strength for anything more. although i do have a plan to do some prep work on her math studies so i'll be ready to do our next lesson...hopefully when daddy gets home.

i just had a thought as to why things have gotten worse around here lately...i really think alot of it is because tyren has gotten so cantankerous lately. not that i really want to put this all on him...but when he turned 3 he really changed...well right around was really almost like a switch though...he got soooo much harder to handle. to the point now where everything seems like a fight. its absolutely exhausting! and unfortunately maeven, like me, has NO patience for his little quirks. we both just go off the deep end whenever he does anything the least bit irritating or fights us on doing or not doing something. it just goes round and round.

so what i need to do at this point is come up with some techniques to deal with tyren that actually work...and if i can get my son under some sort of control (although i doubt i will be able to SOLVE this...just find some things that work to help us ride it out til he outgrows this difficult stage) then i suspect maeven's grouchies will start to lessen as well. and her meanness towards him. we'll see. its just a theory right now.

also...2 more things i think will help with maeven...finding some foods she actually likes that i can get her to eat on a regular basis...i feel like i need to try to get her to eat something every hour or 2 since she really doesn't eat at meals and so she needs more fruit or some other healthy snacks on a regular basis that will help keep her blood sugar more level and less of the up and down. i do think both my kids are affected by these ups and downs in blood sugar and that if i can get them both to eat more often, that might help as well.

the other thing i think will help with maeven will be when i can get use of the big room again and get more of an activity schedule for my children...actually this will help both of them too...i plan to really get lots of things for them to do regularly...right now i just don't feel prepared to do this sort of thing because i'm constantly struggling to get the house clean as it is...i really don't want to use my kitchen for projects if i can avoid it, because it just feels like a LOT more work since i really don't have storage space right now for anything...OR, here's another thought...maybe i can figure out some sort of temporary storage idea to be able to store supplies and projects in progress and whatnot. some sort of rolling cart or something that we can then use in the big room as well. hmmm, have to think on that some more...that might be a possibility. something on wheels might actually work because then i can move it around the house to wherever its needed. hmmm...i think i'm going to go research that right now actually...i know i saw something like that in discount school supply before.

Saturday, October 04, 2008


ok i normally hate doing these because it tends to be info that just seems (to me) to be useless and just plain dumb.

anyway, i just found this off of one of the blogs that i subscribe to, and i thought this one sounded interesting...different from what i usually see out here goes:

1.How old do you wish you were? 40...i know this is odd because i'm not quite 38 (will be on nov 11!) but i just think 40 sounds like such an awesome age! especially as a woman. i tend to view age in conjunction with wisdom, and so i guess i am hoping i'll feel wiser at 40, LOL!!

2.Where were you when 9/11 happened? we were asleep and my husband's mother called us and told us about the first tower...we got out of bed and watched the news in shock and saw the second tower go. i didn't turn the tv off at all during the day for at least a week straight...

3.What do you do when vending machines steal your money? if its outside a store, i go inside and tell them usually, and ask if i can get a refund. or else i just shrug and am thankful it wasn't a lot of money and move on.

4.Do you consider yourself kind? i like to think so...there are definitely times i don't believe i am.

5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? maybe on my back, shoulderblade...not sure what. i had really wanted one there, or on my upper arm, for a long time (pre-kids)...was thinking about a globe with dolphins swimming around it with a vine or something earthy...but never could make up my mind so i never did it.

6. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? definitely spanish (because its the most useful in california) or sign language...i still hope someday to be.

7. Do you know your neighbors? not really. on one side of us are some nice renters--young 20somethings (all boys), who like to throw parties but are very respectful of us about it...and on the other side a family consisting of an older couple and their daughter, i think? and her 3 young boys...the grandpa is a convicted rapist so we keep our distance. someone who knew him tipped us off years after we'd lived there and i confirmed it on the megan's law website. very unnerving, lemme tell ya! across the street is a stand-offish armenian family that we don't know at all, and next to them we are on the 4th dysfunctional family of renters with children...every one of them have had screaming matches in their driveway and the cops have visited more than once (just yesterday even!) lovely, eh?

8. What do you consider a vacation? not having to cook or clean. the ultimate vacation would be not having to run after kids...but i know i'm nowhere near ready for that yet (not ready to trust someone that completely with them for an extended period of time yet.)

9. Do you follow your horoscope? no, don't care, don't believe that stuff.

10. Would you move for the person you loved? absolutely. i love moving! all the new possibilities excite the hell outta me. sadly, i may never get to move again, since i married someone who is still living in the city he was born and raised in and is NOT at all comfortable with what i see as an adventure (pick up and move somewhere brand new!). but that's another long post entirely.

11. Are you touchy feely? not hugely, but i'm not NOT touchy feely...i think i only am with those that i am pretty sure are ok with it...people i know pretty well. and i can't stand people i don't know really well that are touchy feely with me. too forward, thankyou.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract? sure, just look at me and adam. we are pretty dang opposite in so many ways.

13. Dream job? oh gosh, i have party dj, founder/director of an alternative education preschool (maybe even elementary too!), founder/director of a summer day camp, naturalist taking groups of children and adults on educational trails in nature for hands-on learning...i digress...

14. Favorite channels? PBS!

15. Favorite place to go on a weekend? don't usually go anywhere on weekends, but we have fun at bounce u when we are able to go! if i could get us off our duffs, i'd like to start taking the family regularly to yosemite!

16.Showers or Bath? showers...i don't know what's wrong with me but i really don't enjoy baths usually.

17. Do you paint your nails? nope, don't care that much. feel too froo froo if i do. but sometimes i like to feel froo-froo (like once every couple years, LOL!)

18.Do you trust people easily? usually, yes

19.What are your phobias? just one, something bad happening to my kids

20.Do you want kids? 2 is enough, thank you

21. Do you keep a handwritten journal? yup, have since i was a teen

22.Where would you rather be right now? new england sounds lovely

23.What makes you feel warm and safe? hmmm, not sure, have to think about that

24. Heavy or light sleep? always been a light sleeper

25.Are you paranoid? sometimes but i can usually talk myself out of it

26. Are you impatient? oh hell ya!

27. Who can you relate to? overwhelmed moms

28. How do you feel about interracial couples? no problem.

29. Have you been burned by love? in the past, sure, who hasn't?

30. What’s your life motto? whatever works

31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile? just got a new phone so its some default one, but i'm trying to get my kitten meow one that i had on my old one else seems to use that one and i like that.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping, or nearly asleep.

33. Who was your last text message from? my brother-in-law rob, telling me he what time he was coming over to work on our house (he's helping us remodel)

34.Whose bed did you sleep in last night? our family bed

35. What color shirt are you wearing? white with blue flowers

36. Most recent movie you watched? uhhh, hell if i can remember...i watch them so seldom

37. Name five things you have on you at all times? i don't think i can...because i don't wear jewelry or a watch, or even underwear all the time (not out in public, just home, don't worry, LOL!) and i don't always have a pocket for my cell...and i can't fit into my wedding ring since pregnancy so...there's really nothing consistant.

38. What color are your bed sheets? white with brown pinecones right now.

39. How much cash do you have on you right now? none

40. What is your favorite part of chicken? boneless breasts or the keel

41. What's your favorite town/city? sacramento, california (i wish i could move back!)

42. Who got you to join MySpace? my friend april, because she blogs on there and the only way i can read it is as a member. i HATE myspace!

43. What did you have for dinner last night? pasta

44. How tall are you barefoot? 5' 6"

45. Have you ever smoked crack? no way!

46. Do you own a gun? no...never will

47. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? OJ

48. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? no relevant anymore, happily married!

49. Do you have A.D.D.? i suspect so

50. What time did you wake up today? 7amish (thanks to tyren)

51. Current worry? always my children, and also my husband...their safety and health

52. Current hate? trashy people who have no respect for anything, including their own children

53. Favorite place to be? sitting at my computer unhindered at night, kids in bed

54. Where would you like to travel? all over the world...i've already traveled the world a lot, but i want to do it more and to expose my children to the world's wonders.

55. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? hoping to be better off financially and in a neighborhood and home i can be happy about (better yet, in a town i can be happy about)

56. Last thing you ate? toast w/jam (odd dinner, eh?)

57. What songs do you sing in the shower? don't sing in the shower

58. Last person that made you laugh? anita renfroe on the show bananas comedy.

59. Worst injury you've ever had? i really haven't had any really serious injuries...just lucky, i guess.

60. Does someone have a crush on you? i highly doubt it.

61. What is your favorite candy? reeses p'nut butter cups or butterfingers.

62. I can't wait til..? my life reaches a point of stability where i'm not so stressed all the time...presumably when my kids are older (although i do not want to rush their younger years...its still a helluva lot of work and stress!)

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

i have to brag about my hubby

for those who don't know, my hubby, adam, is a video photographer/editor. one of his videos (this is the one that he was shooting here), was just posted on youtube so i thought i'd share it:

he shot and edited the entire thing, beginning to end. many of his jobs he has to edit someone else's work, but this one is ALL HIS! :) i'm VERY proud of him, can you tell? :) he's damn good, if i do say so myself! sexy too, hehe! :)

it was shot high definition, by the way...but youtube crunches it down so it ends up looking kinda crappy in quality but trust me its not if you see the original.

i don't even know who these chicks (prima j) are...never heard of them til adam had to do the shoot...but apparently they are pretty popular with the preteen crowd.