Saturday, May 30, 2009

yet another reason i LOVE craig ferguson!

this is how he opened tonite's show. this guy is so friggin hilarious, i love staying up late watching him! now i want to go buy this song on itunes! :)

simon cowell is supposed to be a guest tonight. should be interesting.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

mama is enjoying her work!

perhaps its because these projects are new...perhaps its because of the specific projects...perhaps its something else that i've not realized yet...regardless of the reasons...i'm really excited these days about the projects i'm working on!!

i've dropped babyfest (still working on handing it over to someone new...waiting for word back from them on that...if they don't do it, it will just die. sad but its time for me to move on.)

i've essentially dropped my websites, fresno family and mommy chats.
well they're still there but i don't think about them much anymore, since i have not time or desire to do anything with them its off my radar for now. i'm not ready to let them go completely because there are people who still benefit from both of them regularly...they just are not being worked on right now, and won't be again for awhile. i'm really too busy for them. nice to know that they are still there to come back to later though. and they are fine as they are right now. fresno family is a resource site, so i don't HAVE to do anything with it...its full of stuff already...and mommy chats is mostly just for chatting...and people still do that's fine. :)

my current projects are the learning village (TLV) and the discovery center (TDC). and these 2 projects go hand-in-hand...pretty smooth, eh? :)

i just FINISHED the 1023 for TLV...yes, you read that right...i FINISHED IT!! WOOHOO!
that's the irs form that makes us a tax-exempt nonprofit, for the uninitiated. :)

so what that means for me now is that i can focus on the rest of the details for the center. this is the fun part! and i'm JAZZED about it!

i'm also really jazzed about my latest development...i have been put in charge of organizing a new volunteer force at TDC to help improve their site and programs...and i already have a team of helpers to create a plan and put it into action! so i'm really seeing things moving forward and i'm super excited about it all!

i have a notebook that i've been brainstorming in and have come up with all sorts of great ideas for both centers. i am very much looking forward to the rest of this year, and all it holds! and once we get TLV up and running and improved things at children will be benefiting SO MUCH! that's the most exciting benefit of these projects!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

cannot even fathom

i cannot begin to even get my brain wrapped around how they allowed prop 8 to stand, i really cannot. i hope with all my heart that people will wake up and pay attention the next time it comes to the polls. i whole heartedly agree with barbara boxer. you can NOT have separate rules, you just can't!!

and if you are one of the people that say that civil union is just as good, i encourage you to read this. i mean REALLY READ IT. its not even close to the same. educate yourself people! seriously!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

letting go...

i'm finally learning (at least for now) to let go of more feels lately like i'm busy and yet i'm not being pulled in as many directions as i have been usually.

that makes no sense. well, trust me, it feels different to me.

what have i let go of? well, my websites, sorta. i still have them but i have decided to just put them all on hold unless someone specifically contacts me about something like an ad (which i still do, but they are mostly automatic...and frankly they just don't bring in much money these days so i just don't think about them much.) i have to force myself not to think about what else to do for my sites to make them flourish better. mommy chats, for one. i'm actually at the point that i would be ok selling it if someone offered me money. i don't have time in my life for it anymore. and i think i'm past caring.

in fact, my new website idea, family palooza...i'm kinda not so into either. i may never get it up and running. or maybe i will. but i really don't have the time to think about it right now.

i like doing websites, i really do...but right now i'm more into local projects.

i'd much rather put my time into the website for the learning village, since that's something my family directly will benefit from. in fact...i really need to do some work on that site. i think i may go look into that right now actually. :) i want to use that site as a place to have interactions with the community as well as a member section that is not public...and have the lending library detailed on the site...and think of all sorts of other ideas to add to the site. i think i'll go look at some of the other homeschool resource centers i've bookmarked and see what ideas i can glean from them. :)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

why do some people make no sense?

seriously, its starting to really perplex me. some people post really unintelligible posts on twitter and facebook. like they're high or something. or like they THINK they are being deep but to some of us they just sound like they are on some psychodelic um, okaaaaaaaaaay. what the hell, do you still speak english?

i don't have time in my life to be annoyed by stuff like this. time to just ignore them i guess.

ok, going to ignore now. ok now. no really, going to stop being pissed about it....NOW.

ok i'll figure it out somehow. time to go back to spending time on things that bring me joy instead of irritation.

NOW. gogogo!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

perish the thought!

i was just thinking that i've not been particularly chatty online lately...not a lot of blogging lately and such. weird, huh? guess i've just been busy. not chatty? perish the thought! LOL!

anyway, i'm really engrossed lately in the learning village, as well as the discovery center. i know i've mentioned it before, but to recap...

the learning village is the homeschool resource center i'm starting here locally. i am the person with the idea and heading up the whole thing...self appointed president of the board and executive director of the center (once it's open)...well, someone has to do it! :) i'm happy to step down if someone else wants the job. :) anyway i'm so full of ideas for this center and its finally coming to fruition!

we open our doors july 1! so we have a lot of stuff still to accomplish between now and then...including raising $300 to pay for the 1023...which is the irs's form to make us a tax exempt nonprofit. we've already filed the other files needed to make us a nonprofit...this last one (for now) that we need to do is for the official 501 (c)(3) status. then we can be able to collect donations and give tax write-offs for them and such.

the center is my new baby. i'm very excited about it! i think we'll soon be practically living there...which will be at the discovery center, since there's where we're renting space. we'll be holding lots of fun classes (already have a bunch of people that are volunteering to teach classes and lead activities). and have a cool lending library (already got a ton of people saving stuff to donate! even had someone tell me yesterday they have a computer they will donate!) and eventually i want to do family events such as seasonal things like a spring egg hunt, harvest/halloween party, etc...there's really a ton of things that we could do! the possibilities are endless! i'm actually at the point now where i'm having to reign in some of my ideas and enthusiasm and focus on things to do FIRST. because we cannot do everything at once. we need to start small and work our way up.

so right now we are focusing on getting the paperwork done (which i actually want to go work on once i finish posting this.) and getting people to save stuff to donate and getting people to officially volunteer to lead classes (collect the info and start following up on leads.)

i want to have some stuff to provide right from that first month. get things on the calendar and encourage people to join.

now...the other big project in my life....the discovery center...luckily this sort of goes hand in hand with TLV, because they share property. i've been doing a lot of brainstorming on ideas to help TDC...but first i'm trying to find out more about how things currently are. i am taking notes on brainstorming sessions, to refer to later when appropriate...and just trying to learn all i can about what it means to be TDC board member. its very exciting because there's just SO much potential at the facility! i hope i can help to move things forward and help them see some of the goals come to fruition...and most importantly help improve the grounds and increase attendance.

anyway, i'm rambling. there, i've blogged this week. :) going to go work on TLV paperwork, which i've not picked up this week yet.

Monday, May 11, 2009

life is changing...

i'm busy, as always...but its a different kind of busy. new things, i think. ok maybe i'm the only one that feels the difference. but there's a lot going on, and i'm really happy with it all!

  • i'm letting go of babyfest, which i'm more than ready to do. (got a meeting tomorrow evening to meet with a group that will HOPEFULLY take it off my hands. if not, it may just die. which i'm ok with now, after 6yrs. it was a good run. i have no room in my life for it anymore.)
  • 6months ago i joined the discovery center board of trustees, but only now am i figuring out what that means. still figuring it out, but lately i've been doing all sorts of brainstorming and investigating to figure out what i can do to help TDC. i'm an action oriented person. i don't go for just being there to vote on things. i need to be out there making things happen. :) a big thing for me is going to my first FCASH meeting as a TDC rep. i'm excited!
  • i'm going full speed ahead on the learning village (TLV). frankly, i'm kicking ass on the 1023...this is the irs form that will make us a tax exempt nonprofit. we're already a nonprofit corporation...this will make us tax exempt so that we can give people write-offs for donations and such. so much in the works right now for this center...i'm seriously JAZZED and am trying gather thoughts so that we can really kick things off on our opening date of july 1. just have to narrow the focus and save some things for later, once we are more underway. don't want to bite off more than we can chew!
  • getting more into unschooling...joined our local unschooling united group. not fully involved yet, but i'm really enjoying the meetings and all that i'm learning from some of the books i'm reading. much more to learn, but this is really important to i feel my way through this whole homeschooling experience. i'm still going to remain very eclectic, i suspect...and i have no problem with organized lessons for my kiddos as long as they are fun for them...but we've really been enjoying the way our days are going without the stress of what we "should" be doing...and i am still managing to sprinkle in things here and there (and plan to ramp it up a notch once i get to a point where i feel able...probably once we have TLV to be a part of our weekly lives.)
  • house has been doing better (with the exception of this week, which its started off really trashed...but for weeks before this it really was doing a LOT better...and i plan to get it back to there. had a migraine today so i will have to kick it into high gear tomorrow.) i've managed to not feel like i was drowning in it all. and the back yard has been my kids favorite place to hang out lately! maeven keeps saying how much she LOVES being out there! its shady and i've been watering the weeds around the mulberries and cutting them short so there's not just dirt around there. :) its really got a nice feel to it back there.
well that's enough for now...writing about the mulberries reminded me that i didn't give our baby silk worms fresh leaves today. yikes! maeven gave them a couple but i better go out and get some now before i forget again or they will be crawling all over our house by morning, in search of them!

Saturday, May 09, 2009

schools kill creativity

man, this guy is BRILLIANT! (and funny, to boot!) i was enraptured watching/listening to this video!

talk about wow!

so much to do!

and here i am, trying to simplify my life and it continues to get complicated.

i'm actually pretty excited about the new things i'm doing though...and i'm happy to move away from some of the things that i've done for so long.

one is babyfest. i'm happy to hand this off. after this year i felt very much burnt out on the whole thing and think its definitely time for someone else to take it on. i think it will be best for all. i have a group in mind to hand it off to...going to a meeting of theirs next week to discuss it with them and hopefully hand it over. if they agree, it will mean a huge relief to me. if they pass on it, well babyfest may just fall by the wayside because i'm simply not able to continue to do it. this is the first year i've been able to say that its ok to let it die. i did a ton of work on it but all was not wasted. all that i learned from babyfest will be used to put towards new things. i am very happy to do more events for the discovery center.

right now my biggest project focus is the learning village. that is first and foremost in my mind. it will be the thing that our family spends the most time at and benefits the most from and i'm just jazzed to get it going! i am using some of the things that i learned from babyfest as well as learning new things. it is going to be awesome! i have a lot of people getting excited about it now and many that are helping me make it come to fruition!

the move-in date is now set for july1, so that gives us time to get fundraisers going to make some moolah to pay for the nonprofit paperwork. and if we can get even more than the $300 we need for that, then maybe we can even go about paying for our rent as well!

right now i'm trying to focus on what to provide families that start off with encourage them to pay to join us so we can get the rent paid for!

i have some ideas but i want to try to come up with more that will make it just POP as a great thing to be a part of! time to do more thinking!

but first...i feel like working more on that 1023 to grind away at that...
(that's the irs paperwork to make the center a tax exempt nonprofit)

Thursday, May 07, 2009

putting a face on gay marriage

they DO deserve to have all the rights and privileges of everyone else. this IS america, is it not?

marriage isn't a religious institution. it is for some people, but it is a LEGAL situation overall. and in this sense, we cannot discriminate against gay people regardless of your individual feelings for them. they ARE people and they ARE americans just as much as the rest of us.

time to fix the wrong that was done. just like we over came slavery, segregation, and women not being allowed to vote. this one is just as important. gays are people too, and they deserve just as much respect and rights as the rest of us.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

my brave brave boy

i first wrote about tyren's dental situation here. and then latest post about it was here.
i can't seem to find any posts that i filled in the blanks in i'll give a brief recap and fill in the blanks.

found out tyren has cavities (i already knew it, i could see them...the fronts of at least 3 of his side teeth had brown areas near the gums), from first dentist. bad experience, tyr freaked out at the first dentist and wouldn't calm down til we left so no one could even look at him. (although for some reason he was ok with the xrays...i think because they did that first and after that he had had enough.)

dentist #1 referred him to an out of town place to do his teeth under general anesthesia...i freaked out and started researching other options...

took him to dentist #2 to get a second opinion (read that first post for all the drama surrounding this whole thing). tyr wouldn't even LOOK at the dentist, much less let him look at his teeth. flipped out again, crying and freaking out. no good.

took him home and over the course of a couple months, bombarded him with tons of books about going to the dentist and stumbled upon this FABULOUS dvd on the net:

played it over and over and OVER for him...(he LOVES it! and its REALLY well made, so even *I* don't mind watching it!) and did just as they recommend on the dvd...we "played dentist." a lot.

took him to dentist #2 for a new visit. NO PROBLEM. he was happy and relaxed and even let "dr doug" look in his mouth. wow, new child!

dr doug said he could try to do the work with gas and do it a little at a time...made new appt.

mistake: i made the appt for 2 days before babyfest. dumb dumb dumb.

got to the appt after prepping tyr ahead of time about the visit and practicing and everything and yet, he flipped out in the car and wouldn't get out of his car seat. hysterical crying again. no go.

i figured it was a bad week. the week before babyfest is a very very stressful week for us all...with all the work i have to do for it.

rescheduled appt for 2 weeks later for our LAST TRY at doing this with dr doug. talked to tyr and explained that if he didn't let dr doug do his teeth that we were going to have to go to a new dentist that we don't know and that new dr might have to put him to sleep to do his teeth (the truth, even though i didn't want to explain this to him...but i was running out of options and really needed him to cooperate!) he said ok, he'd let dr doug do it. i didn't want to get my hopes up too high.

went back this monday for the new appt.

here's my boy:

totally fine, relaxed, letting dr doug do the work!!

some of the things that i think really made a difference were:
  • pinatta's view...hands down the best thing we did for this whole situation...especially since it gave us the idea to play dentist!
  • playing dentist
  • having the WHOLE family go to the appt with him (he seemed to like all the extra emotional support. the times he freaked out daddy wasn't there, one time maeven wasn't there.)
  • having daddy go into the actual room with him (they only let one of us go and when we asked him which he wanted, he chose daddy without hesitation...i think he was so right to do this because i was a bundle of nerves! daddy was cool as a cucumber.)
  • having a way cool dentist that is kind and patient. :)
so he got the first 3 teeth done! no gas, no anesthesia, no problem!! next we need to get his molars worked on...dr doug said he will probably need the gas for that and to use some anesthesia (i'm guessing he means novacain). but at this point, tyren is pretty cool about the whole i'll make sure we ALL go again, to up our odds of it going well, and we'll be playing dentist again! dr doug even gave us the rubber thing they put on his nose for the gas so that he can play dentist with it! :)

god, i canNOT tell you how friggin relieved i am about all this!!!

next appt is in a month. i'm not too worried but i know i'll be a bit nervous the day of, until its done. but HALLELUJAH that we managed to finally get past the worst of it!!

and to think that we could have just gone along with that first dentist and taken him to a town over an hour away to have strangers put my baby to sleep and take him away from me! i cannot even imagine how hard that would have been...the idea made me practically hyperventilate!!!

PHEW! i cannot tell you how much weight is off my chest now!!!

Monday, May 04, 2009

testing twitter again

i'm still trying to get my twitter feed set up with this it will post updates to twitter, since i now have it set to forward all my tweets from twitter to facebook...where people actually read them! (i know this only because i've had quite a few people respond to my status there, which is now coming directly from twitter. post one place and it gets sent 2 places, pretty cool!)

i tend to blog here a lot more than on my homeschool blog, so i wanted to make sure that i got this one set up as well. sometimes i feel like i have some pretty good things to share on my blog, LOL! like to know i might not be talking to myself. :)

anyway, lets see if this works. its supposed to post a message to twitter that i just did a new blog post. then twitter will forward the message to facebook. ah technology. :)

Sunday, May 03, 2009

can you say OBSESSED?

so this whole weekend i've been obsessively thinking. i said in my last post that i'm on a jag. it seriously is. i can't stop my brain from spinning! the last 2 nights i've been unable to sleep til after 2 or 3am! and last night was extreme...i had lack of sleep from the night before being up til after 3am (and really it was probably past 3:30 by the time i actually fell asleep since i couldn't stop my brain even after i laid down)...but i was determined to go to bed early last night (midnight is early for me), and did, but had to get up again. my brain was just spinning too much and rather than waste all my time not sleeping and not being able to stop thinking...i finally got up and wrote and wrote and wrote and WROTE, and thought and thought and thought and THOUGHT. and got pages and pages jotted down of ideas. (this is all discovery center related, mind you, so it was focused thinking) for 2 hours. and then went to bed after 2am and struggled some more to get my brain to shut down so i could sleep. seriously. it has been an extreme weekend of thinking for me. wow.

but i'm someone that believes that things happen for a reason. for the most part. so there's got to be a good reason that this is happening right now. these thinking jags have happened many times before and many times it has led to my helping to create wonderful things. i'm not making this up...i'm not all brainstorming and no action...i really have created many things from this sort of no order: BabyFest, The Learning Village, FresnoAPMommies, FresnoFamily, MommyChats, the mommy & me classes that i started at the discovery center which led to my in-home mommy & me classes, which led to my book...etc etc...there's a long list at this point of things that i've created from my brainstorming, things that actually have turned out really neat...

maybe its time that i make a real difference in fresno. maybe that's the reason for this particular jag.

because that's exactly what i'm brainstorming. making a difference. well not really for that reason, not to make some wonderful thing and get recognition...that's never my purpose. my purpose is always that *I* want something to happen...for MY kids and MY family...really, selfish reasons...but i also realize at the same time that others would benefit as well.

so, not being someone to sit around and wait for someone else to MAYBE get around to making these things happen...i am very much about diving in and making it happen myself. because i'm impatient and not a little bit (i think) ADD. maybe even ADHD. heh.

i'm not saying everything i've ever brainstormed has come to fruition or has even always been WORTH pursuing. i'm sure plenty of the stuff i wrote about last night won't ever happen, and maybe it doesn't matter. but if just SOME of this stuff is able to happen...i am VERY excited by the possibilities.

but this is the point where i sit on it for awhile...after i get all the brainstorming done...i don't move yet. i keep thinking, and sit on it...and think...and research and talk to people...and think...and i'm learning (from many mistakes), that this is a better way to do things than to go off half-cocked and overwhelm others.

besides, i'm not above admitting some of my ideas are far too outlandish to actually even deserve to make come true. (i'm the bride-to-be from 1998 that had this idea to have people sing and dance to "celebrate" by kool and the gang on the way to my wedding reception. *sigh* yes, my brainstorming does sometimes go in a frighteningly corny direction...luckily i came to my senses before even suggesting that silly idea. LOL!) and so its good, i think, that i've figured this out and put things down on paper and think and think and think on them before going further with them.

plus i've learned that its not good to unleash all of me and my ideas on poor unsuspecting people. i tend to brainstorm outloud a lot...with friends/family...but i'm learning to not do this to acquantances and people i have a professional relationship with.

i'm maturing enough to figure out that my ideas need better formulation and planning and organizing before i unleash them to those that would be needed to help make things happen. '

so no, i will not being taking my pages and pages of notes to the next discovery center board meeting. and i'm pretty sure none of the people on the board read my blog, so they won't get overwhelmed by all that has been going on in my brain, LOL! and i won't bore my 2 readers (or so...can't imagine there's more of you out there, LOL!) with all the details either. it wouldn't mean the same to you that it does to me. :)

my husband, on the other hand, does get more of the brunt of it, but buck up honey, that's part of the marriage contract sweetheart! LOL! you get me and all my intensity and quirks! :)

i do have some sensitivity though...i made sure to let him know today when i was filling him in on some of my thinking...that he'll be happy to know that most of what i've been thinking involves someone ELSE doing the actual work! :) because i can just see him going "oh great, we're losing her again...just when she finally let go of babyfest".

nope, my priority is still my family and the learning village. those are where i need to be. but there's no reason i cannot set the wheels in motion to make great things happen still.

and a final note...what did i read this morning when i turned on my computer? my friend barry falke, the director of our local rotary storyland and playland, wrote this.

methinks i'm not the only one on a thinking jag. GO BARRY!!!

(**making mental note to include thinking on how to get more of the family oriented nonprofit businesses such as storyland/playland involved with each other in some sort of a partnership, and coordinate some of our energies for the better of all fresno area families!)

Saturday, May 02, 2009

so much thinking

i'm on a thinking jag again. not that i ever stop thinking...but i seem to be prone to jags where i seriously obsess on a topic and run it to the ground before i lose interest or move on to something new. there seems to be a pattern of this in my life. not sure why. its really something that eats up chunks of my life, but i enjoy it, and i learn a lot. and it just seems to be who i am.

so right now i'm obsessed with thinking about The Learning Village and The Discovery Center. The first is the homeschool resource center that i am starting, with help from friends, and the other is where we are renting the space for this and where i am on the board as well (i have a long history at TDC, including having worked there from like 97-99. and then off and on for a couple years after that, and then having babyfest there from 2004 til present. really i never was far from TDC.)

this whole being on the board at TDC and creating the board and running it for TLV is really challenging and very interesting to me. there's so much to learn...i've never been part of a nonprofit board of directors before...never been on ANY board before! babyfest committee was very casual and we made it up as we went along...this is very different.

so i am talking to different people a lot about all aspects of these 2 programs and their boards. there's so much i'm not fully understanding yet, and so much that i'm starting to understand. and so much i want to do. i was up until 3am last night researching info on things that could improve things at TDC, possibly. ideas that have been shared with me that are making me think a lot and made me do a ton of research last night...things that might never come to fruition but are fascinating.

so many things.

Friday, May 01, 2009

kids are ok, its mom that dislikes change to routine!

not that we have a set routine, really...but i have had things coming up lately that have been pretty important and they have made me feel like i'm running around like a madwoman at times to accomplish them. honestly, its only here and there, but its really make me detest changes to my usual week.

like next week i have tyren's dentist appt (rescheduled because he threw an absolute fit and refused to even get out of his carseat when we went the week before babyfest...hoping that that week was just stressful for us all and so he was picking up on that and this next week he'll be better about it...we'll see), and i have to drop the kids off at my mom's so i can go with my dad to DMV and transfer ownership of the van to us (its always been theirs but they paid it off recently and want to make it official...even though it lives at our house and we primarily use it) and get my driver's license renewed...something i didn't realize that i had let expire.

i think there are other things on my calendar next week too that i'm forgetting...i've had meetings lately to go to and more that are getting put on the calendar...not that i mind...i actually enjoy getting involved in things that are important enough to have official meetings, LOL! but just don't want my weeks filling up with these things. i MUCH prefer to be able to just relax and enjoy my kids and work on the house on a typical day. running from thing to thing is just not my thing.

today is a bit much too...i have my daughter's friend that is getting dropped off any minute, to spend the whole day because her mom is out of town today (which isn't a bad thing...we like having her, she's no problem at all so long as my kids cooperate and don't spend the whole time fighting over time with her)...then my mother-in-law will be here at 10 for her maeven time (which will be maeven/brooke time today) and i have to be ready and get tyren ready to go to music class by 10:15...and then later on this afternoon there's 4pm kid yoga...and then sometime after that brooke gets picked up and maeven goes out to her nana/bompa time.

not really any big things, but for some reason i'm feeling this morning like my day is crammed. probably also because i am trying to figure out how to go help a friend tomorrow to work on her yard...leaving the kids with adam if he's able to do it...i really really want to help, but i'm not sure yet if adam will be able to do this since he has a shoot but doesn't yet know what time that will be, and i don't like not knowing exactly how things are going to go...its bugging me! LOL!

i don't know, i'm just really feeling a bit overwhelmed with life this week...thinking of all the things i keep adding to my calendar and especially about that dentist appt looming on monday. its something that has to happen or else we are going to have to take tyr in to get him put under general anesthesia to get those teeth fixed...and i'm REALLY trying to avoid that because it scares the crap outta me, not to mention how he will be affected by it! just want to get the whole thing over with and fixed so we don't have to worry anymore.

i just hate feeling stressed...i really don't feel it all that often anymore (at least, lately) when i do, its such a yucky feeling. bleh. makes me feel like i'm in knots. probably once i get my day going and we get through a few of things things and i get to the point where i'm not thinking about the dentist, things will be better.

on the plus side, i'm moving forward very well with the learning village paperwork. got the bylaws written a couple days ago!! woohoo, go me! and i may have someone (hope hope hope) to take the babyfest off my hands, so that will be one less thing i'll have to deal with (of course, that wouldn't be til the end of this year when i'd be working on it again...but its a project that is always lingering in the back of my i'll be glad to be able to get it OUT of my head completely! and into good hands!)

anyway, i'm not sure why i feel all tense this morning...probably i didn't get enough sleep and that dentist appt is looming...i need to find something else to think about and get my mind on happy things...time to work on the learning village so makes me happy. :)