Wednesday, June 02, 2010

just breathe....

i have to remind myself to breathe. i'm getting that worked up feeling where i'm feeling out of control with stress.

after 3 years of having our house in chaos because of the big rm being out of commission and crap piled up in various areas of our house and shed and inaccessible for the most part...we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel....but it sure has ramped up the stress here in this last month of construction and remodeling of that room.

we have a piano and a desk on end piled in our living room, which is our main living space, and for the past month have been having to squeeze past things in other rooms as well, as all the stuff that we had thrown into the unused big rm is piled up elsewhere in the house during construction.

its truly amazing how much your home environment really does affect your mood. the stress level in the house has been darn near unbearable the past month...and i'm at the end of my rope in patience for my kids and them with me. we have all been barking at each other way more than usual, adam & i included, and the kids are fighting so much i'm ready to just walk out (i won't, of course, but that's the feeling i get sometimes when i've had to break up yet another fight between them.)

all this will be worth it, though, as our big rm is darn near done. by this weekend we are hoping to be able to start moving stuff in. assuming we can get carpet installed in the next 2 days.

on top of all that's happening here, maeven has come down with a bug and is miserable and making everyone miserable around her. well it might be she is playing it up, because she's distracted right now and acting normal...but the whining and crying that she does when she feels anything slightly off is enough to drive me INSANE.

right now i'm listening to them fight behind me and i want to just SCREAM!

just feeling out of control today, as i have to find time to go pick up adam's paycheck since he forgot to leave it here with me to deposit and we had our mortgage payment bounce last month and i can't let it happen again...and workers are going to be calling me to meet them at home depot sometime this morning to buy trim...and maeven is whining and crying about her throat and i'm trying to decide if she needs a dr's appt (right now i'm leaning towards no, that she just needs some echinacea and a distraction)...and we have to make a decision on the door to adam's office (paint or stain, and under pressure neither one of us can think straight...and he was rushing off to a meeting so couldn't talk or think)...and i had to reschedule 2 things just now because i doubt we'll be available for them...both were fun things that we could have used but they'll have to wait til next week or month....and i have been sorely neglecting TLV as this project has consumed our lives...and maeven is bugging me about playing on the computer so i need to get off because i need to get showered and dressed and moving on this day.

i just need to breathe. i sure could use a vacation. next week i can have a vacation in our own big rm. gotta keep thinking of that. for now i need to just get to a place where i can relax and breathe and get what needs to be done, done.

it'll all work out...i just needed to vent. :)

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