Thursday, January 22, 2015

Unlecturing

I love that I finally seem to have developed the ability to lecture my 14yr old daughter about life lessons in a way that is goofy and fun, and very UNlecture-y.

Just had a long conversation with her about the importance of routine....something I've struggled with for YEARS. At least since I became a mom...I was much better about it pre-kids.

Lately I've actually been getting my act together, thanks to the HomeRoutines app and good old fashioned determination. I think it's also helped that I'm learning to how to work WITH my weaknesses, instead of against them...and allowing for many SQUIRREL!s and falling off the horse.

So since I've struggled to get my kids to follow a routine, even though I have even gotten Maeven the same app on her phone and detailed out a simple routine for her to follow in the morning and early afternoon...very doable...it still has been a struggle because she just wants to do her own thing, in her own time all the time. Typical teenager, right? Well she's not usually a typical teenager. I tend to think that's part because of her being homeschooled and not around all the garbage the rest of the country is around daily as a teen, but also just because of who she is.

ANYWAY, I managed to convey what I was trying to convey in a light way and much smiles and laughter ensued. Pat on the back for me not to engage in a battle with my teen. :)  Now it remains to be seen if she now follows through on our discussion...but historically, she has been a very cooperative and helpful kid since she hit adolescence (NOT so when she was younger!), and usually reason and respectful conversations about the way things are tend to work wonderfully with her. Yelling and arguing do NOT. Like ever.

So I just am feeling pretty good about my new ability to deal with her....and the fact that lately I've been pretty calm and peaceful and not prone to yelling. VERY proud of myself for that!!

Next I have to talk to Tyren and he's a whole 'nother ballgame. He was always my super happy, cooperative child, but since about 8 he's turned into this beast who has to argue over EVERYTHING and NOTHING seems easy with him! Now, at 9, I've just got to stop myself from engaging in argument with him and stand my ground on issues that there is no negotiation on. (Yes, you ARE going to shower!) Using a respectful and firm but kind tone seems to work usually. He does give in and cooperate eventually, almost always....but it's a bear getting to that point. Wears me down.

But I KNOW that giving in is not the solution, and I've never been a mom prone to giving in and being permissive with my kids anyway, so that's not really an issue. Just exhaustion and lack of patience and calm tone. He pushes my buttons, oh this boy. But I know that UNlecturing works with him too...I just have to hold my ground and help him to stay focused on my reasoning and he usually concedes.

We'll see how it goes. :)