Can't hear you!

LOL!! My 9yr old just told me "I'm not here, so I can't hear you!" when I was saying it's 9 o'clock, time to start getting ready for bed.

I said "Oh REALLY?" and he said "Just go with it."

True story. LOL

Just overheard behind me

8yr old Tyren to his dad: "You don't say funguses, you say fungi."

43yr old Adam (aka "Dad"): "Quit being smarter than me!"

Hic-downs

Tyren: "Why is it called a hiccup? Why isn't it called a hic-down?"....pause...."A hic-down would be from your butt!"

An old email

Very weird. I just found this email (below) in the archives on my gmail account when searching for something else. Very cool to read all these details about my life 6 years ago!!
------------------------------
SUBJECT: Tyren's ONE!
Date: 7/6/06

Hi everybody! I thought it was time for a family letter to everyone since Tyren is now ONE YEAR OLD! Man time flies!!

First, let me tell you what our little guy is up to these days...

Not walking yet, but he is crawling all over the place...he didn't start actually crawling until 11months, which surprised everyone because we thought he was going to be an early crawler...not Tyren. He needed to wait til he could do it right, apparently, lol! So now he's hard to keep up with...God help us when he's walking!

He also just started pulling up on everything...and is very proud of himself! Not quite cruising yet, but really looking like that might happen any time now. I'm expecting him to walk sometime in the next couple months too. Maeven didn't start til 16months, so maybe he'll be on his sister's time frame.

He is starting to sound like he's beginning to talk...nothing absolutely positively that we can say is him talking, but he does seem to say "mama" and he very clearly waves bye-bye and hello now...saying "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh" when he does it which sounds sorta like an attempt at "hi". Very cute! He also claps his hands on cue whenever he sees or hears anyone else clapping, including applause on tv! Claps and says "AAAAAAAAA" (rhymes with yay) which sounds like he's trying to say yay! Very adorable!

He's grumpy as all hell when we stay home all day, which lately we've had to alot because of the heat and housework that is piling up and needs attacking...but when we take him out and about he's such the cheery little guy. Everywhere we go people comment on how friendly and happy he is. Makes his mommy and daddy proud! :)

He's still pretty bald, although he's getting more hair...but its platinum blonde so its hard to see. So weird for me to have a blonde haired blue eyed child, but here we have him! How did this brown eyed mama end up with 2 blue eyed children? I thought brown eyes were supposed to be dominant? Well the blue-eyed daddy apparently won out. Not that I'm complaining...its just weird to me. :)  Tyren's blue eyes are a very different color than his dad and sis. Daddy has very blue eyes, dark hair...Maeven has lighter and greyish blue eyes, dark hair...and Tyren has grey/blue/hazelish darker eyes and blonde hair. And of course there's Mommy with dark hair, dark eyes...I'm the oddball. :)

Every time we see people we know everyone gives an opinion on who he resembles and everyone has different ideas on that...I've heard that the kids totally look alike, don't look at all alike, Maeven looks like Daddy, Maeven looks like Mommy, Tyren looks like Daddy, Tyren looks like Mommy...so basically, who the heck knows? LOL!  Personally, I think Maeven looks a LOT like me and Tyren is a dead ringer for Daddy. Especially if you look at baby pictures of Adam. His son has the same face as he did at the same age basically. I'll have to get some pics scanned and upload some side by side with Tyren's so everyone can see.

Oh by the way, here's Tyren's blog: www.tyrensrealm.blogspot.com  and here's Maeven's: www.maevensrealm.blogspot.  Maeven and I work on her blog from time to time and I try to update Tyren's periodically whenever there's something new he's doing. Now with our new camera we can even do little digital movies to upload! Way fun!

Now the rest of the family...Maeven is 5 and a half! Her birthday is in November and she's quite the little attitude girl these days. Talking to my friends with 5yr olds, I guess its a 5yr old thing...but man, what a surprise because she never was so sassy before! LOL! But at the same time, she's so fun and interesting to talk to. I just love the conversations I have with her! She's so bright and insightful and has a massive vocabulary for a 5yr old (at least in this proud mama's mind). She can read, but we haven't worked on it in awhile since Tyren's been such a handful...and the heat is overwhelming me so I just haven't gotten back to the lessons...but once it starts to cool off and I have the house more in order my plan is to get back into the reading lessons again. Right now we're just trying to survive the summer.

This fall I will begin officially homeschooling Maeven...I finally broke down and purchased a curriculum...I know I'm fully capable of creating one myself but with this very active and very needy baby I finally realized that I should make it easier on myself and buy something so that I don't make more work for myself. At least for now...we'll see how things go later but it might be best for us to start with more guidance that a boxed curriculum entails...get us off on the right foot. I chose Enki Education (www.enkieducation.org) and am very pleased with what I've read so far. Its quite a deep, complex holistic educational philosophy...more than just a curriculum, it is a lifestyle...which is what I needed right now anyway...some guidance on creating and maintaining a rhythm to our day and our home life. If only I could find more time to read the books!

As for Mama...I'm just trying to keep sane these days...amazed at how much more work 2 children are and realizing that there just isn't enough time in a lifetime to do all the things I'd like to do...and learning to drop things. My online businesses are being put on hold or reduced. I recently hired a chat manager to help me with Mommy Chats, which is my most lucrative money making business...I've put way too much work into that to drop it so I got help instead. My Mothering Magazine sponsored chats continue to thrive and I see an increase in traffic to that site constantly! Fresno Family is easy to put on hold because I don't need to do much there these days since there's already a lot of content...and it also has an amazing amount of traffic! I do have a plan and a partner that I'm working with to make a website-in-a-box to sell to people who'd like to create a similar website in their area...sloooooooowly working on that...I am hoping that will continue to help bring more much needed extra income in. And Tina's Magic Cottage has been put on hold for now. I don't know who I was kidding (myself apparently)...I just can't launch a whole new business right now...so its on hold until something else goes. Right now my priority is my children, my husband and my house. In no particular order. LOL!  Oh and I'm now an author! www.lulu.com/tinasrealm  for those that didn't get the recent notice. Took me years to create that, but its finally done! Adam did the cover graphic for me from pics of my program when it was still operational...and it looks just fantastic!!

Adam continues plugging along at the video production business. Points out the commercials that he made everytime one comes up on tv. As usual he is doing an awesome job! (He really does great work, I'm not just saying that because I'm biased!) Working way too many hours though, in my mind...and for not enough money....but he loves his job. And it pays the bills. :)  Anyway and he continues to be a fantastic daddy! I always tell people I couldn't have gotten a better daddy if I had special ordered him! He's so great with the kids...plays with them for hours every day from the time he gets home from work til bedtime...and he does Maeven's bedtime routine because I'm tied up with Tyren. Its really wonderful to see how loving and fun he is with the children. They adore him and so do I. :)

The latest from the Scott family is that my dad has retired from 37 years in the ministry and my brother and I decided to throw him a big formal hoopla. But right now my parents and brother are in Russia. Yes, Russia! For 3 weeks (and these are the longest 3 weeks of my life, I tell ya! Don't realize how much you rely on people til their gone, of course!) they are touring Russia and working on a charity project with their church. Only one more week til their return and I am seriously counting the days! Then they come back and Dad is going to help us work on our house and relaunch his online wooden toys business.

Mom started working again, at Joanne's Fabric and Crafts store...started because they needed to save a bunch of money for the Russia trip but she loves the job so much that she's going to keep it. She demonstrates their sewing machines and embroidery machines and such...so basically she gets paid to work on sewing projects all day! Pretty good deal for her!

Tim (my brother, for those who don't know him) just got his master's degree in foreign relations and I'm not sure what his next step is...not sure he knows either actually...but he lives in San Francisco again and is, I think, very happy to finally get out of Fresno! LOL!  He was living with Mom and Dad while he worked on his master's at Fresno State but I know Fresno is SO not his kind of town, so now that he's back in SF he seems happier in that regard. His online business, Permanent Revolution Toys, continues to thrive. He makes money hand over fist, it seems! Thousands of customers! Man! I'm in the wrong business! Here's his site for those interested: http://www.permanent-revolution.com/   I think he closed the online store while he is in Russia though...so check back in a couple weeks and see what he's up to. He does an amazing job on his websites...I have a graphic designer work with me on mine because I know my strength is in content, not graphics...Tim, he's good at both!

You're always saying things wrong!

Tyren (nearly 7), in anger to his older sister who was correcting something he said (as always): "Its chiffy!! Not jiffy! You're always saying things wrong! It's thinger, not finger!!!"

Oh yay, Barney

Just heard my 6yr old (watching tv) lament, "Oh yay, Barney. *pause* This is for toddlers."

So obvious, Mom!

Me: "Daddy needs to get up now, but he doesn't want to"...6yr old Tyren: "That's obvious." ROFL!

Bedtime frisbee throwing

Oh my, Tyr's version of me gently nudging him to bed..."You tossed me over here! Like a frisbee!" LOL!!

Butt goggles

There's something you don't hear often...Adam just told Tyr: "We don't wear goggles on our butts."

Low riders

Tyr was walking around w/his shorts hanging half off his bare butt...I hope this isn't an omen about what is yet to come when he's a teen!

Nakey butt

Just got to bed & found Tyr (bed next to me) kicked his covers off & tshirt he's wearing (mine) is hiked up, revealing little nakey butt.

New bed!

tyr's first night in his own bed (next to ours) was a success! i asked him how he liked it and he said "i loved it!!"

so funny...at one point in the night, tyr was snuggled up to my side of the bed with his head on me, body on his bed. too cute.

Future barber?

so it finally happened. tyr decided to cut his own hair. apparently the front was bothering him yesterday. luckily it doesn't really show.

tyren's animal party (aka "so much for simplification")

well it was a huge success! and i'm pooped!! but i learned my lesson from maeven's last bday party--so i better get this up before i forget to do it entirely! :)

first of all, i had tried (key word-tried) to plan this event as one that once it was set up, i could sit back and actually enjoy the party. don't know what i was thinking because that is so not how it happened. there's always a ton of stuff i forget to do and i end of running around like a madwoman getting them done during the party as people ask for them. (like plastic utensils, doh!) oh well. i just am not as organized as i like to think i am, apparently.

anyway, so tyren picked "animals" as his theme. pretty broad, i know, but i figured it could be pretty simple because there's tons of animal stuff out there, right? well, strangely i had a harder time finding things for his party than i have for previous parties. dollar stores usually abound with items which work well to fit with my kids' party themes. and while i did find a good amount of stuff at them, i didn't find at all what i was expecting. oh well.

anyway, so we decorated with an animals theme. maeven drew animals and we hung them under the canopy that i borrowed from the discovery center.

i also copied all these animals with my color copier/scanner/printer doodad, and she cut them out and glued them around the bottom of a dollar tree plastic table cloth.

she also made a sign for the door.

and the day of the party, maeven, her friend brooke, tyren and i worked on the driveway...they drew chalk animals and we wrote messages to set the mood for the party.

maeven also used window markers that tyren got from the birthday fairy to draw animals on the front sliding glass door as well as the back one.

we decorated all over with streamers in blue and green. and i put up xmas lights in the canopy and the trees because the party was starting at 6:30pm so i knew we'd still be going at it as it got dark. just turned them on as i put them up and left them on so i didn't have to think "oh, its getting dark, i should turn the lights on." they were already on. :) especially needed since we don't have any backyard lights currently. (they died and we've yet to replace them).

so for the party, we did animal costumes. i bought plain plastic headbands from dollar tree along with sheets of craft foam to make ears. they cut out their ears and i hot-glued them to the head band (works fast, although i did burn myself quite a few times, argh.) for tails, they had an assortment of belts/scarves to choose from. they had a bunch of fabric belts and braided belts at dollar tree that i thought were really cool and we cut them up and safety pinned them to the animal's butts. (safety pins also purchased at the dollar tree...200 for a buck, how can you go wrong with that? i got enough for YEARS to come now!)

then i had my dad help me move maeven's dresser mirror outside and we put it against the fence and kids used stick face paint to create their own faces. (some with help).

i also had themed music playing...i bought the hampsterdance cd from the 99 cent store, and the jungle animal themed party cd from the fancy party store. kept playing those over and over.

by this point we had wild animals running amuck. and some really fabulous creations!

i also spent the good part of a week gathering up large appliance boxes (something do every year...free entertainment!) no easy task, i tell ya, since they don't hold them for you at the big stores unless you call in the wee hours of the morning when the deliveries are getting ready to go out! i had to do a couple days of setting my alarm for 6 and 7am, just to strike out a couple times, but i did get a fair amount too. and there's also clovis appliance, the only local small business that sells large appliances that just puts their boxes outside. snapped up within minutes of being put out there normally but i struck gold and made it when there were THREE outside! WOOHOO! so we had a good assortment of large boxes and every year i have adam put together a fun fort. this year it was tunnels/caves for the wild animals to play in.

oh i should mention that we use cardboard rivets, which work MARVELOUS!!! i can't recommend these enough!! these can be found at mr mcgroovy's and they are cheap and really worth it!! they make cardboard fort making FUN!! seriously! and some amazing creations!

so next i put out plain tshirts and fabric markers for them to make tshirts to enhance their costumes or for whatever they wanted to make.

then, as if they didn't already have plenty to do...i brought out the fixings to make ice-cream-in-a-bag. (what was i thinking? but it WAS a hit!) i set up moms around the small round table i had set up for snacks originally (but it kept morphing into other uses--note to self--BORROW more tables for next party! i simply don't have enough, and none are big enough.) each moms had an ingredient...so they were in charge of getting that one ingredient to the child and giving them the bags at the appropriate times, and sealing them, etc. we got quite a system going...would have been better if we had had a long table for moms on one side and kids on the other, though, but that's all i had, unfortunately. oh i could have brought out my larger round table but it didn't occur to me at the time. oh well.

the homemade ice cream was a hit, though!! and then i brought out cake and there was some storebought icecream as well.

it grew dark and the clear xmas lights hung up everywhere were lovely! i decided it was time for the goody bags because there were light sticks in them. (plus the bags were being used for putting the pinata booty in...so they needed them ahead of time). also in the goody bags were animal stickers and animal band aids (how unique is that? i thought that was too cool to pass up at the dollar store--wild animal bandaids, LOL!) i didn't get much for the bags because of all the other stuff they were bringing home. oh i forgot to mention the plastic animal plates i got also at dollar tree (2 for $!) which i gave the kids to put snacks on and then they could take home. another party favor.

then there was the pinata. have i mentioned how much i HATE pinatas? i really do. not only are they very ordinary (everyone does them at their parties...i hate ordinary, LOL. i'm just funny that way.) but they are just far too crazy and chaotic for my liking. and if it were my choice, i would have quickly nixed the pinata. but tyren decided he wanted one and daddy decided tyren REALLY wanted one, and encouraged it, so who am i to argue with what a newly 4yr old wants for his birthday when he has daddy backing him? so we did the pinata for the first time ever (and the last, i tell ya)...i bought small plastic animals to put in it (actually i kept hoping the pinata idea would be forgotten and i could hide the animals in the sandbox as i had originally planned)...and adam got the pinata and candy to fill in the rest.

we did the pinata, had a child howling because the chaos was overwhelming and she didn't get to get in and get anything...which is EXACTLY why i hate doing pinatas!! its just madness and someone often gets hurt or feelings hurt. but the kiddos shared generously with her and crying abated. (poor little thing, i really felt her pain, it was very crazy!) tyren got next to nothing since he doesn't quite get that you're supposed to go nuts and grab everything in sight...but he didn't seem to care. he had plenty of stuff...he got all the animals off the cake! so he didn't need anymore.

last was gifts and by now it was LATE. we finished off around 9:30 or so...guests departing and family sticking around later to chat. kids weren't asleep til after 11!! it was a long, exhausting, albeit successful, evening.

i do have a ton of pics, but i'm waiting on my husband to empty the card for the camera so i can get pics of the things i missed last night (the driveway, maeven's table cloth, the tunnels, etc...)

pics to come!

times are a-changin

my children are growing up so quickly before my eyes. just this week maeven seems a young lady to me. i look at her and cannot believe how much older she seems. tyren is no longer a baby, but very much the little/big boy. turning 4 in just a few short weeks, and finally potty trained and spending literally hours entertaining himself daily with his own imagination. to the point that he thwarts my plans to do things with him at times ("i'm busy, mom!")

i'm enjoying all these changes. i generally embrace change. i look forward to changes with joy (usually) and revel in them as i realize they are happening.

i've been spending a lot of time obsessed with working on my projects. but in balance with that, after a chunk of time on the phone or computer, sorting through project ideas and such, i also have been finding myself very engrossed in just looking at and listening to my children. i don't want to miss these moments. i want to soak it all in and remember these times with them.

i can't appreciate every single moment with them. its far too overwhelming to be a joyful parent ever moment of every day. but i have felt very proud of myself for remembering to tear myself away from my projects to sit and watch my children play and talk to them about whatever they are babbling about at the moment.

tyren in particular is a babbler. he takes after me in that. maeven isn't so much of a babbler, but if you allow her to talk when she feels inclined, you can hear quite a lot from her. she has so much going on in her head. that's what she got from me. the endless thinking.

oh my goodness my son is too friggin adorable. he just got right in my face to explain to me about something he wants to make that is "for singing softly like this" then he proceeded to sing softly to me. i have no idea what he's talking about but the expression on his face was just precious.

if only he'd go to sleep though. it's nearly midnight!

my big brave boy

this monday we had tyren's second dental work visit.

here he is with the gas mask on:
isn't he just stinkin cute? adam says he looks like a little rudolf the red nosed reindeer, LOL!

i found it humorous that i named that pic "tyrgas"...get it?....tear-gas? (if you don't know how to pronounce my son's name...its TEER, so this is a funny joke, get it? LOL!!)

anyway he did awesome again! no problems at all! he got a little wiggly, but nothing major. dr was impressed again!

and this time he climbed right into the seat and had no problem with getting the gas (his first time), and even got novicain shots (numbed with a topical first) and had more extensive drilling.

he did just fine!

still have a few more teeth to do. but we're really trucking along fine! pretty soon he'll be done...the worst is done now, i think...the rest are smaller cavities i think.

i think the key here is that he doesn't keep tyren in the chair, manhandling him for very long. like 15-20min tops. pretty dang cool!

and having a movie to be able to watch while he's there in the chair helps too, LOL! we bring our own so we know that it will be something he wants to see.

oh man, its so nice to have this stress mostly over. we still have a few more visits before all his cavities are treated, but now that he's gotten these 2 visits out of the way, and with flying colors, my stress level has pretty much dropped off. phew! i tell ya!

pretty amazing to remember that this is the same boy that the other dentist wanted to refer to be put under for general anesthesia!! yikes! wow am i ever glad that we found dr doug and he was able to work with tyr...AND that we found pinatta's view!! pinatta rocks!!

my brave brave boy

i first wrote about tyren's dental situation here. and then latest post about it was here.
well...
i can't seem to find any posts that i filled in the blanks in between...so i'll give a brief recap and fill in the blanks.

found out tyren has cavities (i already knew it, i could see them...the fronts of at least 3 of his side teeth had brown areas near the gums), from first dentist. bad experience, tyr freaked out at the first dentist and wouldn't calm down til we left so no one could even look at him. (although for some reason he was ok with the xrays...i think because they did that first and after that he had had enough.)

dentist #1 referred him to an out of town place to do his teeth under general anesthesia...i freaked out and started researching other options...

took him to dentist #2 to get a second opinion (read that first post for all the drama surrounding this whole thing). tyr wouldn't even LOOK at the dentist, much less let him look at his teeth. flipped out again, crying and freaking out. no good.

took him home and over the course of a couple months, bombarded him with tons of books about going to the dentist and stumbled upon this FABULOUS dvd on the net:

played it over and over and OVER for him...(he LOVES it! and its REALLY well made, so even *I* don't mind watching it!) and did just as they recommend on the dvd...we "played dentist." a lot.

took him to dentist #2 for a new visit. NO PROBLEM. he was happy and relaxed and even let "dr doug" look in his mouth. wow, new child!

dr doug said he could try to do the work with gas and do it a little at a time...made new appt.

mistake: i made the appt for 2 days before babyfest. dumb dumb dumb.

got to the appt after prepping tyr ahead of time about the visit and practicing and everything and yet, he flipped out in the car and wouldn't get out of his car seat. hysterical crying again. no go.

i figured it was a bad week. the week before babyfest is a very very stressful week for us all...with all the work i have to do for it.

rescheduled appt for 2 weeks later for our LAST TRY at doing this with dr doug. talked to tyr and explained that if he didn't let dr doug do his teeth that we were going to have to go to a new dentist that we don't know and that new dr might have to put him to sleep to do his teeth (the truth, even though i didn't want to explain this to him...but i was running out of options and really needed him to cooperate!) he said ok, he'd let dr doug do it. i didn't want to get my hopes up too high.

went back this monday for the new appt.

here's my boy:

totally fine, relaxed, letting dr doug do the work!!

some of the things that i think really made a difference were:

• pinatta's view...hands down the best thing we did for this whole situation...especially since it gave us the idea to play dentist!
• playing dentist
• having the WHOLE family go to the appt with him (he seemed to like all the extra emotional support. the times he freaked out daddy wasn't there, one time maeven wasn't there.)
• having daddy go into the actual room with him (they only let one of us go and when we asked him which he wanted, he chose daddy without hesitation...i think he was so right to do this because i was a bundle of nerves! daddy was cool as a cucumber.)
• having a way cool dentist that is kind and patient. :)

so he got the first 3 teeth done! no gas, no anesthesia, no problem!! next we need to get his molars worked on...dr doug said he will probably need the gas for that and to use some anesthesia (i'm guessing he means novacain). but at this point, tyren is pretty cool about the whole thing...so i'll make sure we ALL go again, to up our odds of it going well, and we'll be playing dentist again! dr doug even gave us the rubber thing they put on his nose for the gas so that he can play dentist with it! :)

god, i canNOT tell you how friggin relieved i am about all this!!!

next appt is in a month. i'm not too worried but i know i'll be a bit nervous the day of, until its done. but HALLELUJAH that we managed to finally get past the worst of it!!

and to think that we could have just gone along with that first dentist and taken him to a town over an hour away to have strangers put my baby to sleep and take him away from me! i cannot even imagine how hard that would have been...the idea made me practically hyperventilate!!!

PHEW! i cannot tell you how much weight is off my chest now!!!

hard to focus

this is a stressful week. babyfest is day after tomorrow and i have a ton of things to do still...and stressed over that already...then what did i go and do? i scheduled my son's appt to have his teeth worked on today. what was i thinking?

of course it didn't go well...its a bad week all around. he wouldn't even let me take him out of his carseat...he cried and clung to it and i was not going to force him. i knew no good would come of that. so we've had to reschedule one more time.

i had a talk with him...and trying to explain to a 3yr old is darn near impossible but i am trying to cajole him into letting dr halloran work on his teeth...i finally told him if he doesn't let dr halloran work on his teeth that we will have to go to a dentist we don't know and they'll have to put him to sleep. i don't know if i should have said this to him or not but i'm just desperate to do all i can to get him to let dr halloran do the work. 2 big reasons...one being its a lot cheaper to do it with gas than general anesthesia...and 2 being my biggest reason...i don't know how he'll react to anesthesia and it scares the CRAP outta me! so i'd rather he just do the gas. easier and cheaper and better all around. less scary for us all. i just have to convince tyren of this.

today, after we got home from the dentist (where we didn't even go in, though i did talk him into walking around outside but not to go in)...he said OK that he'd go to dr doug because he doesn't want to go to the sleep place. i am seriously hoping that he doesn't end up having to be put under general, because i don't want him to get freaked out by that idea, but its the truth...if he doesn't cooperate, we'll have to do general. and none of us wants that. so if i can just get him to agree to see dr doug, and cooperate while he's there...all will be well (i hope).

anyway its just a bad week...i'm hoping part of the problem today was that i'm already stressed because of babyfest and didn't have time to properly prepare him. we'll see.

his next appt is in may. about 2 weeks. cross your fingers that he will cooperate then because if he doesn't, we are out of options. :(

stuck between a rock and a hard place

god i hate it when life happens like this. i get stuck in this cycle of worry and stress and feel the world is spinning. i know we'll make it through this, and probably everything will be fine eventually...but in the meantime i'm so friggin scared and stressed and it SUCKS!

my baby boy has cavities. not a surprise...he fights tooth brushings tooth and nail. we've been very lax about it til recent months. we still at least once, often more times, a week have to literally sit on him and pin his limbs to brush those teeth. *sigh* it seriously sucks. we've tried everything we can think of...this boy is really stubborn. we really have tried to make it fun...we've tried SOOOO much! but it comes down to pinning him down so often. sometimes we can distract him and sometimes he's mostly fine...never easy, but he'll open his mouth for short periods sometimes...i think he's getting better. he has to. because now he has cavities.

and the dentist wants to send him to a clinic an hour away and be put under general anesthesia and that SCARES THE CRAP OUTTA ME!!!

we took him to the dentist for the first time last week...and for some reason he tolerated the xrays (maeven had just gone before him and he was still sorta figuring out what was going on, i think)...but after watching maeven finish getting her teeth cleaned and it was his turn, he flipped out and would NOT let them touch him and started hysterical crying. darn near broke my heart.

and i couldn't process what they were telling me at the time...they backed off the cleaning and said he needed to be referred out anyway...because of his age and the amount of cavities (they still haven't told me how many, just that its "at least 3" because they "refer out once they hit 3") and because of his anxiety. they didn't even really try. they just immediately backed off, which i was sorta glad of but the more i think of it, i wonder if there might have been a better way to approach him. to try to gain his trust. well but my son IS stubborn and once he's worked up its hard to calm him...i don't know...

anyway so the dentist never even met him. he was busy with another patient...i got the distinct impression they just wanted to send this crying child "problem" quickly elsewhere. dentist couldn't even come meet him! he's never been particularly friendly though, so doesn't surprise me.

i took my crying son and went home and he told me over and over for the rest of the day that he didn't want to go to the dentist anymore. but the xrays showed he needs work done. *sigh*

i really hoped that we could ride out things until he was old enough to brush himself. i really hoped that we would just luck out. but we didn't. so now what?

well i'm going round and round with all kinds of options...and none feel all that great.

so i asked my friends on the apmommies list for advice and another dentist was recommended to me and i really wanted a second opinion. my husband feels like he just doesn't like the idea of having to drive an hour to a place we know nothing about...but for me i'm hoping that we don't have to do general at all...i don't know i guess i want a miracle or something.

called and made an appt with the 2nd dentist, called the first dentist to see about getting the xrays sent...was told sure, fine, get a second opinion but then don't come back. shock. disbelief. i was like, "uh, excuse me?" so basically sure you can get a second opinion but you cannot come back once the records are sent out. i told them that was screwed. they told me that was their office policy. talked to the supervisor, she went around with why i should just do this and that he won't remember anything (and i'm thinking, that's not what i'm asking), and finally says that the policy is in place to help prevent parents from doctor hopping, which will stress the kids out more. yeah bullshit. this is nuts! so now i don't want to go back anyway!

but here's the catch...they take healthy families...this new dentist doesn't. *sigh* but i took tyr there anyway, to see if he could see anything that might make things better or something, i don't know. found out that the new dentist thinks that policy is weird too...and no, they don't have a similar policy...they think parents should be able to get second opinions.

took tyr to the new dentist and tyr freaked out again and wouldn't even let the doctor look at him, much less look in his mouth. no way no how. freakazoid city. NOTHING would distract him.

so now what? well the new dentist is saying i could look into local options that take healthy families...i don't really like this option because the hospital that does it is a really icky one. its where you go if you have no insurance and they treat you like cattle there...i know because i had to go there a few times years ago when i didn't have insurance and i hated every minute of it. the place gives me the heebie jeebies. don't want to take my child there.

the other thing that gnaws in the back of my mind is why this first dentist referred us out of town...he said he doesn't like to refer to anyone local because he's not been happy with their work. great.

well this new dentist does work under general at children's hospital and i do feel more comfortable with this option. but money is a huge issue. he says it will be at least a thousand or 2...or more, who knows? they won't know til they get in there and look. which right now isn't going to happen without drugs.

well, needless to say i'm pretty freaked and have been quite unable to focus on much of anything else. i'm going to be a basketcase until this is all over.

looking into getting tyr books and videos on going to the dentist and toys to play dentist...going to work on brushing him after every meal (was only doing it at night before) to get him more used to having his mouth handled...and going to play lots of pretend dentist. start getting him less fearful. and then hopefully we can attempt another visit to this new dentist and get that second opinion that we've not gotten yet.

i keep hoping there's something that can be done to stave off worse damage while we buy some time for him to mature a little more and hopefully go into a new, less fearful phase.

until then, i'm going to be a ball of nerves...potty training is on hold for now. i can only handle one thing at a time.

my son's plans for tomorrow

tyren just told daddy, while they were working on brushing his teeth:

"tomowow, i dunna put sugar (pronounced with an S sound, not a SH sound) in a tup (cup) and eat it yike yunch. (like lunch)"

ah the plans of a 3yr old, LOL!