i was just going through some old emails and stumbled upon a response i made to a yahoogroup i'm on... one for those that have suffered the loss of our precious babies...
and i was rereading what i wrote and i felt it was very poignant so i wanted to post it here, to keep for posterity:
"your post made me think, for some reason, of that stupid phrase "prayer works", which i hear thrown around all the time and absolutely INFURIATES me.
i don't believe prayer works in the way they imply with that ridiculous phrase. like miraculous things happen if you only pray hard enough. or you have enough people praying.
if it worked, then my baby would be alive. and nothing anyone can say to me will convince me otherwise. i think that saying is a load of crap because believe me, every one of us was praying our pants off during those minutes right after my precious little baby boy was out of me and not showing signs of breathing. and i refuse to believe that god is a cruel, vicious god that requires a certain number of faithful followers praying together in order to answer a prayer. why does one baby live and another doesn't? certainly not because the survivor's parents prayed harder, or were more faithful! no way anyone can convince me of that. i refuse to believe god would be so heartless.
the answer, in my mind, is that there just isn't an answer. sometimes people live, and sometimes people die. that's just life. don't get me wrong...i still believe in god and i do pray, even though i don't consider myself a religious person, nor a christian...but i personally wholeheartedly believe in god and praying feels good so i continue to do so. but every time i hear someone spouting off that crap about "prayer works" i want to strangle them.
sorry...don't know where that came from but this seemed the appropriate place to say it."