i just got this wayne dyer video from the library. its REALLY old, he's got hair in it! LOL! not much, but some...and he only has 5 kids in it and i'm pretty sure they went on to have 8 total.
anyway...here's the key points from the video:
(his words, not mine, but i totally agree)
I want my children to value themselves.
I want my children to be risk-takers.
I want my children to be self-reliant.
I want my children to be free from stress.
I want my children to have peaceful lives.
I want my children to celebrate the present moments.
I want my children to experience a lifetime of wellness.
I want my children to be creative.
I want my children to feel a sense of purpose.
Some of my notes from the video:
You are what you choose to be in your life. (Teach kids this!)
Nobody likes to be told what to do.
Nobody likes to be criticized.
Catch them doing things right.
Criticism makes people not want to do it.
You become what you think about all day long.
You become what your thoughts make of you.
Your life is really what you think.
Imagery is mental practice.
You begin to behave or act based on the images you have in your mind.
Constantly reinforce the positive image, and after a while they start acting on that image.
You help them create the image that they have in their heads...which they act on in their lives.
Confidence comes from taking risks.
Praise and self worth go hand in hand.
Self-worth comes from a belief that you are worthy. You are worthy because you say it is so.
Confidence comes from practice.
Your uniqueness as a human being is the most important thing you have.
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you just like everybody else, means to fight the greatest battle there is to fight and never stop fighting."
Mommy and Daddy do not love you because of your successes in life, we love you because you ARE.
Risk-taking and confidence go hand in hand.
There are doers in the world and there are those that are afraid, those that are critics.
You've got to be willing to take risks.
Everything you learn, you learn by DOING.
I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.
And not one moment before.
The only way to understand is to take a risk.
The only way to have success in life is to fail.
You can't raise them to be relying on you...if you do, you do them a disservice.
3 out of 4 people will blame something/someone outside of themselves when things go wrong...those same people, when wanting to be up, will look outside of themselves to get themselves up (joint, drugs, booze, etc)
If you raise your children to be inner-directed, to take responsibility for themselves, constantly putting the focus on who THEY are, rather than what other people are doing to them...then when the drugs come along they won't need something to get high outside of themselves.
Learning to be self reliant means constantly having parental interjections which put the responsibility for what you are on yourself rather than on something or someone outside of yourself.
The job of discipline is to help children to discipline themselves.
We don't want our children to grow up believing they only need to be disciplined when someone else is around.
There's ALWAYS a better way than hitting.
I want my children to be free from guilt, anxiety, stress.
Celebrate the present moments of your children's lives.
Get rid of this notion that they are apprentice people...that they're on their way to becoming a person.
See them as whole and complete NOW.
They don't have to get ahead of the other guy to be happy.
Imagine being a person that always knows how to enjoy life...no matter what comes down the pike.
"Sparky Anderson, manager of the Detroit Tigers told me, 'I wouldn't put any child in organized athletics under the age of 15.'"
Teach them: Don't tell yourself the wrong things about the events in life...nothing in life can upset you, its only what you tell yourself about things in life...
"We don't hit each other in this family, we love each other."
Having an environment of fighting all the time raises children to fight.
If hitting children worked, then you'd only have to do it once in awhile.
We need a generation of children who hate hitting. "Spanking is awful."
Are you inclined to behave when treated angrily? No, you are inclined to strike back.
Raising children on love, not hate...You can't give away what you don't have. If you don't have love inside you, you can't give it away.
Everytime you're angry at someone else, you're saying "If only you were more like me then I wouldn't have to be mad at you right now."
The greatest understanding you can have is that you don't understand, and that its ok.
When you stop needing to make somebody else wrong, you stop needing to make yourself right, you can have anything you want for yourself in your life.
Celebrate present moments--not always be heading somewhere else.
Each child you bring into the world, has only got now...the past is over, the future is promised to none of us. All they have are these moments.
The highest functioning people are those that make peak experiences out of everything. If you want to know who does it the best...unspoiled children!
Wellness...you look at life in terms of your magnificent potential for health instead of being sick.
My beliefs about my health are a lot more significant than whatever disease process is out there.
What does it mean to be creative? To apply your matchless self to anything you're doing in life.
It takes one creative person to make a difference in the world.
Its a way of living, not a place that you get to.
Let them see a model of a human being who is living what I'm talking about.
Let them see someone who looks and feels good about themselves.
"You're children are not your children...They are the products of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not for you."