Wednesday, April 25, 2007

why do i care so much?

why do i care so much about other people's children? that's the question that gets thrown at people that express concern over another person's parenting when i'm in chat rooms and message boards and someone is feeling attacked. "why do you care?" and "how does it concern you?" ...how can i not care? and how can it not concern me? if all anyone ever cared about were their own children...what kind of world would it be?

someone posted on a homeschooling group i'm on recently that all the children in public schools are her concern as well because they are her children's playmates, friends, future boyfriends/girlfriends and future daughters/sons-in-law. they ARE relevant. and they do matter. and we do need to be concerned. i can't help but be concerned.

i care about all children. not just my own. my own first and foremost, yes, but i care about ALL children because they are children. and if the people that are supposed to be taking care of them appear to me to not be doing the job they are supposed to do, yes, i DO give a damn!

they are children, for pete's sake. they are precious. they are vulnerable. they are the most mistreated and abused members of our sad culture. they need people like me and my friends to care about them.

so, yes, i feel shocked/appalled/sick to my stomach when i see injustices to children in my life. i can't stand to see children being mistreated. and i'm not talking about blatant abuse. nothing criminal. although it should be.

children being circumcised, children being called names and ridiculed, children being slapped for normal child behaviors, children being yanked by their arms and screamed at for misbehaving in public, children being carried in plastic buckets instead of a loving parents' arms, children being treated like property, children being brow-beaten and scared into submission, children being spoken to in such cruel tones that they cower....all of these i see as huge injustices to children's souls and yes i want to protect them. i want to scream at the parents. i want to hurt someone for hurting them.

but i can't save them all. i don't even know if i've saved even one! i don't really know what to do! i don't want to overstep my boundaries and i don't want to cause too many waves because education doesn't happen when someone feels attacked. i try to educate when i can. but how often do people listen?

i don't know it all. i don't, i know this. i am faaaaaaaar from a perfect parent. i screw up daily. but i still can't help feeling sick to my stomach over the sorts of things i see regularly in public and private gatherings. i get a knot in my stomach when i think of having to go somewhere that i know i could witness some of these things. and i don't want my children to have to see any of this either. so i feel doubly sick if they are with me and might see or hear something cruel towards another child. and i feel anger for another adult deciding what MY child is exposed to!

that just infuriates me! its bad enough they are cruel and sadistic to their own children, but do NOT force their warped ideas of parenting on MY children too! no way in hell i'm going to let my children suffer along with theirs!

a long time ago when maeven was a toddler we were with someone that was yelling and screaming at her child. that's her form of "discipline"...and she made maeven cry. my little baby was crying because she couldn't handle the sound of this woman screaming at her child. made me want to strangle her for exposing my child to her ugliness!

i know my children will see things eventually...but they are still so young. they don't need to know about the ugliness out there yet. they don't need to be aware of how cruel some parents are to their children.

don't you DARE try to tell me i'm a bad parent for wanting to shelter my children from that ugliness!

3 comments:

  1. You have probably helped families more than you think! Babyfest is your baby, and by creating this wonderful event you expose all sorts of families to ideas that may not have been available to them before. Slinging, breastfeeding, natural parenting, all these factors play into what are in ALL those handouts you guys give out! In my opinion...You ROCK!

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  2. awww, nikki! aren't you just the sweetest? {{{{{HUG}}}}}

    for those reading this not knowing what babyfest is: www.fresnobabyfest.com

    i appreciate the kind words, nikki! thank you!

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  3. kudos to you ("p)

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